Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Gay Jokes Are Funny!

*How can you tell you are in a gay bar?  The entire bar stools are upside down.
*What does a gay rooster say?  Any-cock-will-do
*What do you call a gay drive by?  A fruit roll up
*What does a homo say to another gay going on vacation?  Can I help you pack your shit?
*How do you fit 3 faggots onto one bar stool?  Flip it over
*What to gay boys get for Christmas?  Erection sets
* What do you call a gay dentist?  The tooth fairy
*What do rabbis do with the foreskin after the bris?   Give it to gays for chewing gum
*What do you call a gay boxer?  Fruit punch
*What do call a gay Eskimo? A snow blower
*What’s the first symptom of AIDS?  A pounding in the ass
*I bet the gay transformer transforms into a Prius
*How do you tell if your college roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit
*Did you hear about the gay Canadian Mounted Police?  He was so excited on his first day he mounted his whistle and he blew his horse
*What do you call a gay couple? TOGAYTHER
*What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?  A fruit stand
*While having sex with men is fun, I primarily became gay to break my mother’s heart.
*I love Justin Bieber / Mike eat a Snickers you get all gay when you’re hungry
*A straight guy walks into a bar and realizes it’s a gay bar.  He thinks what the heck I really need a drink

I have a million of them…Gay jokes are funny.

Aren’t they?

A new gay bar is opening in the area and a blogger asks for suggestion to find the perfect name for it.
Some suggestions:  Broke Back Manor, Uranus, Turd Reich, Twigs & Berries, Bats & Balls, Fist Pump Lounge, Bottoms Up, Enter in The Rear, Meat Gazers, The Back Door, Jack’s Meat House, Bone Brothers

Hysterical right?

“C’mon Don where is your sense of humor?” – I have a wicked sense of humor; in fact I can find humor in almost everything but are these jokes funny or are they mean spirited and bigoted?

“C’mon Don it’s OK to laugh at yourself!” – Anyone who knows me knows that much of my humor is self depreciating and many of my funniest stories are about me and my foibles.  I know how to laugh at myself.  The only problem here is that I am not the one telling the jokes.  They are being told at the expense of my feelings and my dignity.

“C’mon Don you know I’m not a homophobe, I don’t have a bigoted bone in my body.” -  Really… you are telling fag jokes and you are not a homophobe?  Do you use the word nigger (if you are not black) do you call Jews Kikes, do you call Italians WAPS, do you call women bitches on a regular basis.  I bet that you don’t but you think it’s OK to mock gays and lesbians.

Gay jokes lead to stereotyping.
Gay jokes make it seem the only thing gay men have on their minds is sex.  News alert – almost all men have sex on their minds all of the time.
Gay jokes make gay sex seem dirty.  Sex is affirming, it is uplifting, it is comforting and if done really well it can be a spiritual experience.
Gay jokes make it OK to bully.
Gay jokes make it OK to discriminate.
Gay jokes lead to fag bashing.
Gay jokes lead to the loss of dignity, the loss of hope and can, in the most extreme lead to a loss of life.

Here’s one more for the road;

*Two gay guys are going at it. After they finish, one turns to the other and says "Hey, I feel something in my ass ... see if you can feel anything." So his boyfriend puts his finger in his ass and feels around. "I don't feel anything”, the boyfriend says. So the first guy says, "No deeper...I'm sure I feel something".
So the boyfriend put his hand in the guy’s ass and feels around. "I'm telling you there is nothing there" says the boyfriend. "No really", the guys says, "I can feel it, look deeper." So the boyfriend puts his whole arm in the guy’s ass and is feeling around when he touches something.
"Hey, I found something, “says the boyfriend. "Well take it out," says the guy. The boyfriend pulls his hand out of the guy’s ass, looks at it and see's it is a Rolex. The guy starts singing, "Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you......"
So funny!  Right? 

Friday, February 22, 2013

Dear Archbishop

I found this on-line - it is written by a retired nurse to the Archbishop of Westminster - The highest ranking Catholic Church official in the Great Britain.  I am not Catholic so I do not have a dog in the hunt about the internal workings of "The Mother Church" but I do have a dog in the hunt for justice, for equality and for social justice. It is letters like this that give me a little hope. 

(Thank you dear lady for your support) 

Well done You! 

Dear Archbishop,
I listened to your letter of Sunday 3 February in which you asked us as a matter of urgency to either send a postcard provided or write to our local MP to request him to vote against the government’s proposed legislation to legalize same-sex marriage. I came out of the church with two thoughts and one resolve. Firstly I thought ‘Lord pity and help any gay person sitting listening to that letter’ not a word a charity or understanding did it contain. Secondly I thought or asked ‘Where in that is the love of Christ for all humankind?’ My resolve was not to contact my MP.
That decision was not made because of the tone of your letter however. I do not find it at all easy or even possible to uphold the church’s teaching on homosexuality. Among gay people of my acquaintance are those who have a deep spiritual life, to have one’s sexual orientation, an orientation that one is born with, described as an ‘objective disorder’ and to hear homosexual acts described as ‘intrinsically evil’ surely makes it almost impossible to feel at home or welcome in the church. It is utterly unrealistic to expect homosexual people to live celibate lives (We all know that many priests find this very difficult and sometimes impossible). The revelations of clerical sex abuse have led many of us to look with a very critical eye on the so-called celibate life and to realize that it has all to often lead to warped and destructive behavior.
To return to same-sex marriage, can it be abhorrent that two people of the same sex would wish to experience that emotional and physical closeness that marriage offers? We believe that God is love and so it must follow that in every loving and committed relationship God must be present – or does this, in your understanding, only apply in heterosexual relationships? Is heterosexuality more valued by God and by the church than homosexuality? You are, I suppose, aware that there are more than a few homosexual men in the priesthood and that nowadays heterosexual men are much less willing to embrace the celibate life. Is the good work done by such men less valuable in the eyes of this church? If so is it further evidence of its dysfunctional state?
I am 65 years of age and have been married for almost 30 years. I would so have appreciated an explanation from you or any of the hierarchy exactly how my long and happy marriage will be threatened by the union of gay couples. When I meet people in my day to day existence they talk about the economic climate (bad), lack of employment (bad), uncertain future for their children (bad), state of schools, hospitals (bad) – never ever has anybody expressed concern about a threat to their marriage by the proposed legalizing of same-sex marriage. You, the church, claim that marriage is the bedrock of society and indeed it is but you also seem to consider it so fragile that allowing a few gay people access to it will endanger it forever. Here the implicit homophobia cannot be ignored.
Sadly you still think your pronouncements will be accepted without question by a meek credulous herd. You have spent far too much time telling us just how sinful we are while drawing veils of respectability over your own grievous wrongdoings.
I sometimes despair of this church, this institution. It seems to me in my reading of the Gospels that Jesus had no problem whatsoever with those who were considered outsiders or exceptions. He appears to have happily shared meals with prostitutes, drunkards, lepers, Gentiles and I do not doubt with people of same-sex orientation since such an orientation has existed since time began. The church seems much happier with its version of order over compassion and love towards the so-called exceptions. It has an appalling history of excluding and torturing those who do not think or subscribe to its definition of ‘right’.
The world is facing disaster on all levels and this church, when not obsessing about matters sexual, spends an inordinate amount of time on pointless activities such as changing the liturgy back to a correct translation of the original Latin – a language not spoken by Jesus but spoken by the oppressors of his time and country. Do you imagine that this obsession with precisely translated texts will win you a single new adherent? To me, you (particularly but not exclusively the hierarchy) appear to be a frightened group of men preoccupied with titles, clothing and other religious externals. You seem, with some wonderful and brave exceptions, to pay only lip service to ecumenism and matters of social justice. I would love to see the so-called ‘Princes of the Church’ (Where did all these triumphant, utterly anti-Gospel titles you award yourselves come from?) get rid of the silk, the gold, the Gucci shoes, the ridiculous tall hats, croziers, fancy soutanes etc etc and substitute bare heads and a simple pilgrim’s staff on all liturgical occasions and that might be taken as a small outward sign of your inner acceptance of fundamental Gospel values.
I seem to have digressed somewhat but to return to where I started, same-sex marriage. I will always be unsure of the validity of any principle or opinion that makes one act in an unkind or intolerant way. Toleration, of course, has its limits, I want you to cry out against injustice and cruelty. Explain to me please exactly how marriage will be ‘changed forever’ by the proposed new laws, specifically tell me how my marriage will be threatened.
I admit that I am not very well versed on biblical texts and I know that there are those who can find a text to confirm any prejudice without having to resort to any sort of reasonable debate but surely if we accept one piece of scripture (Lev 18:22) which declares homosexuality to be an abomination, to judge what is right or wrong, we must accept them all. Following this logic we are therefore forbidden to wear garments made of two different kinds of thread (Lev 19:19), men must never have their hair trimmed especially around the temples (Lev 19:27). According to Lev 25:44 I may possess slaves provided they are purchased from neighboring nations, not sure if this applies to non-members of the EU! As for organizing the stoning of transgressors – well, a logistical nightmare!
Archbishop, we have grasped the principles of evolution, stopped burning witches and holding heresy trials, discounted the flat earth theory. Do you now think we could move the debate about equal human rights for people of same-sex orientation and also the status of women in the church on by a few millennia please?

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Sunday, February 3, 2013

2013 Budweiser Super Bowl Ad — Extended Version of The Clydesdales: "Bro...

Hillary Schools Congress

"Secretary of State Clinton showed up to answer tough and sometimes ridiculous questions regarding the deadly September 2012 attack on the U.S. diplomatic mission in Benghazi, Libya. In the process, she offered a tutorial for today’s young women.

Key points:

1) When a man asks you a question and then refuses to look at you as you answer, just keep going. Don’t let his rudeness silence you.

2) When he interrupts you, return the favor.

3) When he says things you know are not true, correct him. Repeatedly.

4) When he attempts to bully you, mow him down with facts.

5) And whenever possible, smile. Nothing rattles an angry man like a woman who looks happy to annoy him.