View Beyond Bethlehem

We Are Not Bridge And Tunnel

2012-02-12T14:37:00.002-05:00

We’ll be heading into the city the last weekend in February. We always stay at the Ramada East Side. It’s in Murray Hill.

If we win the lottery this week we will be moving to the city, we have decided that of all the wonderful neighborhoods in Manhattan we like Murray Hill the best.

As I mentioned a few days ago I/ we really need a New York trip. It takes about 2 hours by bus, the tickets are reasonable and the buses have wifi so we don’t have to talk to each other on the way in. I hate talking while I am moving. You should see how rude I am on an airplane.

Thus far our agenda is:

Eating at Ambre

Eating at the Oyster Bar in Grand Central Station

Eating at Mesa Grille

Some way overpriced cocktails at the King Cole Bar @ the St. Regis

Drinks at the Roger Williams

Food and drinks with our favorite Irish bartender Gareth at Maloney & Porcelli’s – A great steak house

The Morgan Library has an exhibit of Dickens’s manuscripts

The Frick has a Renoir exhibit

We have to run through FAO Schwartz and then bitch about how awful it is anymore and long for the days when it was across the street in what is now Bergdorf’s men’s store.

One of us will have to go to the Disney Store and the other one may cross 5^th avenue and leer at the Abercrombie sales team

And that’s just Friday. We have to fill up Saturday and Sunday brunch and then home for The Oscar’s with our special guest star Hillary Kwiatek.

It's My Life - And The Skinny Kid Never Left

2012-02-12T06:52:00.002-05:00

It was February, 1984 and once again he was in one of those lost stages in his life, he has had so many of them and he was only 24 years old. But, here he was walking through the Palmer Mall on his dinner hour with a co-worker who just happened to be his best friend as well former boyfriend; gay guys have these kinds of convoluted relationships. One of the things he learned from the former BF and other more recent short term relationships was that guys his own age sucked and not in the way he had hoped they would. He decided what he needed was an older more stable and settled man; someone with a little money who could take care of him and protect him from a world he often found difficult to deal with.

After the former boyfriend broke his heart he decided to go back to college in the fall maybe there he could find a path to happiness. He'd get his degree and flee this town, start over, become someone new and find that rich older guy he knew was out there waiting for him. You know the one who would take him on glamorous vacations, buy him polo shirts in every color of the pastel rainbow, teach him about opera, fine dining and some interesting sexual positions that only an experienced guy could teach him.

He never had a type he would often joke that as long as the most important parts work that’s all that mattered. Some of his friends only liked blonds, some only liked hairy guys or redheads or black guys or twinks. Before and after the ex BF he had dated (had sex with) a pretty diverse selection of young men none looked like the other, the only thing they had in common was they were all his age or younger and none were “white picket fence” material.

While walking through the mall he spotted this incredibly handsome and very buff black guy in leather pants working at a gift shop. He went into the shop and looked around mostly at the guys butt, c’mon a really hunky black guy’s butt in leather, what else would a skinny white boy with the libido of 12 men look at? He asked the guy for if they carried a very specific line of greeting cards. The store clerk knew of the line and said they did not carry it and he knew our boy was flirting with him and he did not seem to mind.

He had to get back to work so he thanked the clerk and left the store. His ex BF said “What the hell was that all about?” He just smiled and thought to himself “I’ll be going back to that store again.”

A few nights later he had made his usual mid week trip to the local gay bar hoping to dance a little, flirt a little and maybe get someone to hook up with.

After striking out with a few of the guys he looked across the dance floor and there he was, not in leather pants this time but chinos and a polo shirt but still just as fine. He was hanging out with a short, scrawny, rat faced guy who he was clearly fond of but the guy was busy flirting with every black guy in the place.

Our hero grabbed his gin and tonic took a big gulp walked over and said “So you come here often?” The black guy shook his head and laughed a little.

“Are you with that guy?”

“No, we are just friends.”

“Good cuz I want to dance and then you’re taking me home with you.”

They danced and talked and danced some more. They didn’t go home together that night but made a date for Saturday; dinner and a movie.

They had their date on February 11^th, the movie was Vertigo, they went out dancing afterwards, they held hands, and the big hunk took the skinny kid home and the skinny kid never left.

And, So It Goes

2012-01-23T22:12:00.006-05:00

My lack of posts is not because I am no longer interested in sharing my wisdom with the world - Lord knows I have a lot share but....

I "Turned on, Tuned in & Dropped out" so to speak.

The end of the year / holiday season is often difficult for me and for as long as I can remember it always has been. Someday I may share a story or two or three or four.

Anyway, this year threw me even more off kilter than most years.

One of the topics I wanted to discuss was Joe Paterno but surprisingly I was afraid. During the initial uproar I had people say some of the most heinous things about me that I have ever read on Twitter. I now know what it feels like to be Bernie O'Hare.

Now that JoePa has moved on I suddenly have the courage to remember and honor him
The GOP Presidential primary has been fun so I'll sum that train wreck up soon
The PA Redistricting plan deserves some of my wisdom and perhaps if I stop being lazy I can influence the State Supreme Court decision
I am reading a memoir by Justice John Paul Stevens and it is really good
I think I need to write some erotica/porn again...I have tried my hand at it on another site and I received decent responses and it was pretty fun
I am not going to get involved in the congressional race
I do have some funny Easter related stories
Have I told you how much I love living here? I will
I meant to take on the "Nattering Nabobs of Negativism" on the Lehigh Valley social media scene - I will
I really really need a long visit to NYC
Did the election of Barack Obama prove racism is dead in America
I suspect I will volunteer in some way to re-elect the President - unless I can get paid to do so
I am thinking about running a contest "Who wants to write my resume?" Maybe I can get Bravo to create a show around it
What it's like to be adopted by people young enough to be my children
I want to move to Hawaii but my guy wants to become a goat farmer - perhaps we can do both

And, so it goes.

Homophobia Means

2012-01-23T22:08:00.001-05:00

I found this on-line - not sure of the author

Homophobia means:

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

I am the boy kicked out of his home because I am gay.

Dylan Ratigan Got Me Thinking

2011-12-09T19:14:00.007-05:00

I sometimes find Dylan Ratigan difficult to watch but this link is worth watching and he accurately sums up the frustrations I have with politics. This frustration may be the ultimate reason I have had it with politics.

There is no one willing to make the hard choices that need to be made.

This includes the American people.

Are we really willing to sacrifice? Are we really willing to do the right thing? Are we really willing to find common ground? Are we willing to give something of ourselves for the greater good? There is little evidence that we are.

After 9/11 President Bush and Congress asked us to give up some of our civil liberties and we said OK.

A universal military draft would force all mother's and father's to sacrifice their son's. How fast would we have been out of Afghanistan & Iraq if these wars had been fought by every one's sons.

President Bush did not ask us to pay for his wars, instead he took out loans from the Chinese and the Saudis. He did not include the cost of the wars in his budgets instead he created a separate accounting line so that the cost would not be counted as part of the budget deficit he was running up. Did we complain? Did way say "What can we do to help?" No, we just went about our business and pretended it was not happening. Of course the Republican opportunists are now ignoring their own culpability and blaming it all on Barack Obama.

We are a nation on the edge of fiscal ruin and no one is really doing anything about it. The Republicans only cared about this once the people elected the black guy President. They do not want the wealthy to chip in and help. They seem quite happy to sacrifice our nation's commitment to the least of us and to ask they expect the middle class to foot the nations bills.

The Democrats big chant "Tax the Rich" is so strident and so loud it seems as if the world oldest organized political party hates success.

Whenever I hear a Congressional leader say "The American People do not..." it makes my skin crawl. Does anyone in Washington really know what the American people want? We know that they know what the K Street People want.

I have slowly come to the realization that the only solution to our nations problems may be a do over.

I would have said revolution but that may bring the FBI to my door.

Here is the Dylan Ratigan link

http://binged.it/vZnVnJ

Whats Goin On

2011-12-03T21:24:00.001-05:00

I have posted about bullying in the past. I think the “It Gets Better Campaign” sends a great message. The key to this campaign’s success is that these kids have got to be able to hang in there a few more years before they see any improvement in their lives. Life does and will get better but you have to be alive in order to see it happen.

I have attached a YouTube posting from a young man named Jonah. His life to be blunt has been shit. This video has gone viral and thousands of people have seen it. What happens when someone from his school sees it? Will the school administrators support and protect him? Will the adults in the community be there to ensure he is able to make it to and from school safely? Are there some students who will step up and say enough?

Please follow this link- “Whats goin on” http://bit.ly/uwTawG

For more information about how we all can help:

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

http://www.itgetsbetter.org/

http://www.hrc.org/

http://www.lambdalegal.org/

It's My Life - Looking at Lights

2011-12-01T22:40:00.000-05:00

I don’t always notice things.

I am not very observant about stuff. People I notice things not so much.

For example:

When we were kids my parents would always take us for rides around the area to look at Christmas lights. We would start with a tour of the Easton area and then head up William Penn Highway to see the lights of Bethlehem with the highlight being the Star of Bethlehem. In those days The Star was only lit during the Christmas season, so it was a little more special. Sometimes we would stop in to tour the Moravian Putz.

These evenings would be very stressful for your humble blogger I would invariably not see what everyone else saw. The entire car load would see Santa on the roof of some house in Bethlehem Twp, I could not locate it. My Mother would notice a house decorated in all blue lights and I would not see it. My sister would notice a lights that would flash in a pattern I would be unable to find them.

These trips would be frustrating and often involved tears, mine. We could be driving right under The Star of Bethlehem and I would not see it until someone else in the car would grab my head and point it in the direction of The Star; even then there was only a 40/60 chance of me actually seeing it.

After years of frustration, humiliation and silent sobbing in the back of the car I came up with a solution. Lie. I would pretend to see what everyone else saw even if I was looking out the back window and they were looking front and to the left. “Did you see that Elf flying across the front of the blue house?” “Yep, it cool mom.” “Look at how tacky those bushes look.” “They look like Helen Keller decorated them?” It went on like that throughout the evening even if I was looking at something completely different from the rest of the family. But it made the trip around the Lehigh Valley looking at the lights just that more pleasant for all the parties involved.

Needless to say I have no desire to drive through the “Lights in the Parkway” in Allentown.

Lunch With Elected Officials

2011-11-30T22:06:00.000-05:00

I had lunch with Charlie Dent on Monday.

Well, actually I had lunch a table away from the good Congressman. The reason we were in the same room was the annual Tri-Chamber legislative lunch. Every year members of the three independent Chambers of Commerce gather for lunch and conversation with the area's State Legislatures, County Executive and the Member of Congress.

It’s a mixed crowd of local movers, shakers, small business owners, corporate representatives, lawyers, labor leaders, non-profit organizers and community activists. Each office holder was given about 10-15 minutes to discuss what he/she has been working on. Each speaker was introduced in very glowing terms by a chamber member. I suspect these introductions were written by the biggest ass kissing staff person. I thought I was in the company of the one true savior each time one of these politicians was introduced.

First up was Congressman Charlie Dent. He expressed his disappointment at the failure the Super Committee and hoped that progress could be made and basically blamed all of our fiscal woes on Medicare and the Affordable Health Care Act. He then went off after regulations and their job crushing effects and he all but accused the EPA and the NLRB of having a vendetta against American business interests. These were themes he repeated ad nauseum throughout the question and answer period. He certainly was well prepared, very confident in his rightness and completely on point with the message he wanted to give. He also seemed kind surly, grumpy and lacking humor. When Don Cunningham made a few pithy quips he just stood there and glowered.

To end the afternoon event host Frank De Rosa asked about why things don’t work anymore and if anyone had any ideas as to why our politics is so completely broken. Congressman Dent was about to blame the Democrats, he mentioned that it was tough to get things done when only one side comes to the table with ideas. He then paused as he if he realized that there may be some Democrats in the room; in fact there were the President of the local Labor Council was sitting front and center. He returned to his main talking points of anti-regulation, anti-health care reform and curtailing entitlement programs. He never addressed Mr. De Rosa question.

As they opened the floor to questions a young aide to Congressman Dent who I have gotten to know recently and is none too pleased with some of my comments about her boss looked at me with horror about what I would ask her boss. I assured the eager aide that I am always proper and polite at these types of events. I may not like Congressman Dent’s votes but I have too much respect for his office, the unbelievable pressures he must find himself under and how hard I know he does work.

Sen. Boscola was represented by her very capable District Chief Kurt Derr. Kurt apologized for Lisa not being there and discussed some of the things she and the Senate were focused on. He did a fine job and it is never easy to represent someone else in these types of forums. The attendees wanted to hear from the Senator herself.

Rep. Joe Brennan spoke about regionalism and the expected changes that will come with redistricting. He had a previous engagement so he left early but assured attendees the Rep. Julie Harhart would do a fine job in answering any questions.

The best of the afternoon was Rep. Marcia Hahn. She was organized, focused and informative about the issues she is working on. She mentioned one by one each of the committees she was on and what the most important issue that each committee was dealing with. She discussed all sides of the issues. She was very informative, detailed and we had a better understanding of what Rep. Hahn is spending her time on.

Unfortunately for Rep. Harhart she had to follow Ms. Hahn. She rambled through some of the things going on in Harrisburg it appeared she was not really prepared for her remarks and just leaped from topic to topic.

The one thing that did impress me was that all the State folks mentioned the importance of the Lehigh Valley delegation putting politics aside and working together to represent the needs of the valley and bring home the bacon for the area.

Next up was Lehigh County Executive Don Cunningham. He explained the role of counties in our lives and he also brought a more global view based on his variety of governmental experiences. He understands all the various levels of government and how they are all interrelated. He was a Mayor, Cabinet Officer and now County Executive. He was also very funny, self effacing and brutally honest. At one point after hearing all the Republicans talk about not raising taxes he called them on their dishonesty by pointing out that we can’t have police, fireman, bridges, prisons, street light etc without taxes; everyone wants these things and much more but no one seems willing to pay for them. Congressman Dent was clearly put out by Mr. Cunningham’s comments; he crossed his arms and gave his best Mr. Burns on the Simpson’s look.

The final speaker was Northampton County Executive John Stoffa who was his usual low key self. He discussed the Gracedale issues, accepted the will of the people and hinted that he was not sad Ron Angle was leaving County Council. He did say how much respect he has for Mr. Angle’s commitment to the county and how hard he worked as a Councilman. His report mirrored Cunningham’s about the role of counties. He also mentioned that the county has gained 40,000 new residents in the last 10 years which is a huge amount of growth for a largely rural county.

Both Executives discussed the need for regionalism and predicted that in the not too distant future the roles of the small town / township governments would begin to fade; they won’t be able to support the services required. The Executive’s predicted county police, fire and EMT departments.

It was a good afternoon I learned some things and even though I find my views drifting further and further away from Charlie Dent’s I was very impressed with his knowledge, ability to communicate his views and his confidence.

Why Occupy?

2011-11-28T07:02:00.004-05:00

When Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter has had enough of the Occupy Movement clearly this little adventure has run its course. Philadelphia’s very fine Mayor embraced this movement from the very beginning and did everything he could to accommodate the protesters. But, enough is enough.

When the Occupy movement first began I was inspired and excited by it. Finally the left was slapping back it had learned a lesson from the Tea Bagger movement. (Note: I will continue to use Tea Bagger instead of Tea Party as long as these people continue to question the citizenship of the President and continue to use subtle and sometimes not too subtle racist references about the first family. They stop and I will stop.) There was a disorganized charm to the early days of the Occupy Movement that has been typical of left leaning protests; the white guys shirtless with 6 packs and dreadlocks, the endless drumming, the women in long skirts and peasant blouses, the older Episcopalians, the African American kids with really great natural hair.

When they first hit the streets in New York I wanted to drive in with cases of water and granola bars to show my support. CBS Sunday Morning did a piece on it that was so inspiring that I was convinced these folks were going to change the world. One of the young people interviewed by CBS was my guy’s nephew; he was acting as the logistics coordinator for the movement; if Craig was involved it had to be good.

I had begun to turn against the Occupy Movement when it began to spread across the country; the argument was against Wall Street not Oakland, Atlanta, Philadelphia or Bethlehem. Why were these folks protesting Wall Street when they should have been protesting the United States Congress? It is Congress that allowed Wall Street to run amok.

Then they started moving in; building little villages. The villages needed police protection and the villages needed cleaning. The villages were costing the cities money. The cities took the largest hit during the Bush inspired depression and are fighting their way out of it and yet here they were bearing the brunt of the cost of the protests against the Bush inspired policies. The money the cities were spending to protect and clean up after the Occupiers was money that should have been spent on cleaning streets, protecting neighborhoods and G-D help the Mayor if he/she has to tell the citizens that the local pool can’t open next summer because money had to be spent to flush away the filth left behind by the Occupiers.

After enjoying the tree lighting ceremony (protest signs and all) we walked downtown and I pointed out the Occupy Bethlehem Tents to my guy and he said “so they are squatters?” He’s right; they are encamped on city land without proper permitting, without proper sanitation and they expect my tax dollars to protect them. How does living in a tent and letting the citizens of Bethlehem pay for your protection and cleaning up after you send a message to Wall Street or to Congress? Walking past these tents encamped in our beautiful Japanese peace garden I looked at my guy and said “What are they doing here?” Maybe I’m just a bitter old cynic but I have yet to understand how pitching a tent in a public space will bring about the economic changes we need.

Resignation

2011-11-21T18:11:00.001-05:00

Donald C. Flad JR

20 November 2011

Dear Walt;

I am writing to inform you of my decision to resign as a member of the Northampton County Democratic Committee, effective immediately.

I support the party rule that committee members must support the party’s nominee. I cannot support every person nominated by the Democratic Party. I do not believe that just because a person calls himself or herself a Democrat means they are more fit for public office than someone who does not.

I have found committee meetings to be frustrating experiences because of the infighting over really ridiculous issues. For example; during the meeting to elect a new Vice Chair there was a shouting and venomous behavior because more than one person wanted to second the nominations of the candidates. People were waving copies of the by-laws and hurling insults at each other. That kind of behavior is juvenile, unproductive and does nothing to elect the party’s candidates.

The Democratic Party supported the Human Relations Commission creation in the city of Bethlehem. It was promoted as an affirmation of the city’s sexual minorities. During this past election you thought it was important to inform the voters of Bethlehem that a Republican candidate had posted a naked photo of himself on a gay website. This website was set up for gay men to meet each other for whatever reason they choose to meet. It is a consensual website and all participants are there for the same reason. You took it upon yourself to expose this to the voters of Bethlehem. You chose to smear a young man running for office for his personal life rather than explain how his views of how Bethlehem should be governed were the reasons not elect him. Democrats defended President Clinton’s right to private behavior and this year on behalf of the Democrats you decided that Tony Simao was not entitled to private behavior. If I wanted to be part of a political party that behaves this way I would be a Republican.

I am a Democrat and have been a Democrat since I was 9 years old but at age 52 I have decided that I no longer have the inclination to be a partisan.

I wish both you and the good people who make up this party well.

I Am Finally Done With Politics...I Think (The End)

2011-11-20T07:22:00.001-05:00

So where does leave me? I am political to my core.

I think about politics constantly it is often all I talk about it is the thing that has consumed me since I was a small child. I remember using my matchbox cars in a re-creation of a political convention. I had a set of presidential figurines; the conversations Eisenhower had with Thomas Jefferson were epic. I have a sign that says “Office of the Mayor” over my desk. I have a collection of campaign buttons that goes back to William Jennings Bryant. I was moved to tears at the Hall of Presidents at Disney World. In college one of my professors caught me poring over the Village Voice political endorsement.

Two weeks ago on election night I hung out with my friends Jon Geeting (blogger and big thinker) and Hillary Kwiatek (former candidate, community activist and super mom) talking, gossiping, comparing notes and constantly checking on election results via our cell phones. As the evening wound down I realized that here I was sitting at the Brew Works obsessing over campaigns and politics when I just began a series of blog posts about how I was through with politics. Hillary shook her head and Jon said I will never really be able to walk away but perhaps I am better as a free agent and not a political partisan.

Jon is right. I can’t just walk away from my interest in politics but am not very good at the campaign and party stuff anymore. Will I continue to speak out on issues? Yes. Will I ask my friends to vote for candidates who I think are worthy of their votes? Yes.

If State Rep. Bob Freeman needs my help, I am there. If Hillary Kwiatek or some other close friend decides to enter the arena, chances are I will be there. But, other than that I can’t imagine a candidate capturing my imagination enough to inspire my involvement.

I will be resigning from the Democratic Committee for the reasons laid out here over the past two weeks.

For me for now; politics is a spectator sport.

I Am Finally Done With Politics...I Think (Part 4)

2011-11-18T23:14:00.002-05:00

By the time the 2010 May primary election came about I was pretty stoked to vote. I was convinced that Joe Sestak was going to rid us of Arlen Specter and I believed that John Callahan was the right candidate for Congress. So, when I walked into the voting booth I was in a very jovial mood and enjoyed voting for candidates I wanted to vote for and not just being forced to pick the better of the lesser. When I got to the end of the ballot I saw that no one was running for the male position for the Northampton County Democratic Committee so I wrote in Donald C. Flad Jr. I remember joking about it on the way home and never thought of it again.

A few weeks later I received a letter from the Voter Registration office stating that won the election by one vote.

I had been a Democratic Committeeman in the past and even served an appointed term on the Democratic State Committee. I was enthused again about politics so I figured I would give party politics a shot again. A decision I would soon second guess.

The newly elected committee was called to meet to select a new leadership team. I have been to a number of these meetings and it is always a great evening of socializing, catching up and gossiping. I saw some old friends and met some of the new comers to the scene. This batch of new comers was mostly the Barack Obama supporting true believers and many were elected by write in votes. They joined the Democratic Committee to support their President and to make a difference in the party. The old timers were of course disdainful of the newbie’s, which was distressing because many of them were the reformers when I was last on the committee. A few weeks later I received notice that that there was a procedural error during the election of chairman and it had to be re-held. I couldn’t make it so I sent a friend as a proxy.

Once the dust was settled on the chairman’s election and Walt Garvin was confirmed as the party’s new leader it was time to hold a meeting for the entire county committee to meet and organize. This meeting was held in a pavilion at Louise Moore County Park. It was an awkward spot for a meeting but so be it. The fresh faces came with a list of resolutions they wanted to enact, all very worthwhile but many of them showed a real lack of understanding of how a county party operates. These resolutions set off a battle between the old and the new. Tempers were lost, hopes were dashed and many of the old timers (many younger than me) became the people I detested a long time ago. After much arguing over really stupid things I had enough. I took the floor and reminded everyone that we had one mission and one mission only it was to elect our slate of candidates and maybe we could set the bullshit aside for a few months and meet again to discuss these issues once John Callahan was elected in November. After another hour of Sturm und Drang the meeting ended. I stayed for another hour to give a pep talk to the newbies and encouraged many of them to keep fighting and wear the bastards down. A few of the old timers tried to insult me by telling me that I had not changed.

I got into the car, called home and said “Why the fuck did I do this?” I got home and paced around for some time recounting the meeting and all the while my guy just sat there and listened. He did ask how any of this was going elect Sestak and Callahan.

I realized then that I did not want to be part of the official Democratic Party organization. I remained on the committee but I did not attend any more meeting until it was time to elect a new Vice Chair. The previous one resigned in disgust and I was told was taunted rather obscenely on her way out the door. I had a great time at the meeting to elect the new Vice Chair; I schmoozed, people told me they loved my tweets and blog and I caught up with some pals. The meeting itself was an embarrassment of bad management and again there was fighting, red faces, name calling and battles over the things that really don’t matter. Compromise is not a word that is understood with the Democratic committee of Northampton County.

Bernie O’Hare acted up quite foolishly and I told him so. He openly supported a number of Republican’s and tried to vote as a member of the committee. A member of the Democratic Committee can only support Democrats. I questioned Bernie’s motives and told him he had bigger fish to fry. I challenged him to explain if being a thorn in the side of the Democratic Committee was going to accomplish anything of merit. Again, I called home and ranted.

I missed a few more meetings, voted to sell Gracedale and then Chairman Garvin exposed a candidate’s sex life to the public.

Dawn struck Marblehead; I had made a mistake, I decided that much of politics was beneath me.

End part 4……….

Anderson Cooper Getting Involved

2011-11-06T18:40:00.003-05:00

I found this picture of Anderson Cooper getting involved and not just standing back and observing a story.

Mr. Cooper was covering events in Haiti and rescued this child during a demonstration that had turned violent. I am not sure when this was taken.

Good for Anderson Cooper for not just being a passive observer. More journalists need to be activists as well.

Congressman Dent's Brave Vote

2011-11-06T17:44:00.002-05:00

I would like to thank Cong. Charlie Dent for his brave vote confirming the expression "In God We Trust" remains the official slogan of the USA.

It took a lot of guts for Mr. Dent to stand up to the forces of evil that are trying to destroy this nation and I know that it was a difficult vote for our Congressman. It was so important that it was the major focus of Mr. Dent's party this past week.

God Bless you Mr. Dent, I know that this brave vote will create a lot jobs and make our economy stronger. Mr. Dent's leadership on issues like this job creating piece of legislation should be admired.

Coming Out & Political Coming Out

2011-11-06T11:27:00.002-05:00

A short time ago I wrote a 3 part series about coming out to my family, I have now just written 3 parts (though it will end up being longer) about why I may be done with politics. This one is a combination.

To those of you out there who are straight but not narrow, thanks for the support and I appreciate it. However you will never fully understand the coming out process because you will never have to do it. You may be supportive, you may show empathy, you may be there for the person going through with a shoulder to cry on but you are not the one going through it.

Coming out never ends…..ever.

People I meet ask me about my wife because I wear a wedding type band on my left hand.

People ask me if I am married and when I say no it opens up more questions or when I say no but I am in long term committed relationship they ask me why I am unwilling to marry her. When I tell them I am not allowed to get married they are completely lost. And, then I have to come out.

“So Don we are having a little party after the Chamber mixer please bring your wife.” When I arrive solo, I have to come out.

Fundraising tickets are often discounted for a couple. My guy is just not into these types of social events so not only do I pay a higher rate of taxes I am also forced to pay a higher rate for charity or political fundraising. I may find a suitable female to bring along and when we are asked about our relationship as a couple. I explain that my “date” is married, I have to come out.

When filling out a benefits package at work, I have to come out.

When shopping for a car, I have lousy credit, I have to come out.

At my 20^th year class reunion, I had to come out. I bailed on them ever since.

A childhood friend finds me and I have to explain why I never got married, coming out again. I had to come out a childhood friend’s father’s funeral.

Then there is politics.

My recent posting on L ‘Affair Simao prompted Jon Geeting (genius, wonder kid) to question whether I would think the same way if a straight candidate went through the same thing. He also wondered if there was a double standard for gay candidates. One of commenter’s wondered why Tony Simao did not campaign as an openly gay candidate and Jon accused Simao playing the gay card to garner some sympathy and victimhood status.

If you are straight you sex life is never part of the campaign but if you are gay it is. That is the double standard.

No President has ever had to prove his birth was constitutional but the black President had to, that too is a double standard. A straight candidate does not have to explain his/her divorce(s) but I would have to announce to the world that I have shared my life with a man and since he is black I would no doubt be required to bring his birth certificate with me.

Tony Simao did not play the gay card Walt Garvin did. Chairman Garvin is very smart and even shrewder; he brought this up because he knew there is a segment in this city that would be offended by Tony’s gayness and horrified that he was sexual.

Perhaps Tony Simao did not make his homosexuality part of the campaign because he did not think it was an issue or perhaps he knew it would have a negative impact on his tea bagger supporters. Either way what a candidate does with his penis is no one’s business unless what he does is not consensual

Jon asked if I would think the same way if Garvin had nude photos of Ron Angle. Yes I would, ones sex life is not subject to public debate. Most Democrats defended President Clinton and yet here is the party trying to exploit the sex life of someone running for Bethlehem City Council.

One of the reasons I never ran for public office is because I was unwilling to put my guy through the public coming out process. He was a public school teacher I thought of the added strain and or threat that my running as an out, loud and proud candidate could have caused. Would one of my opponents try to get to me by smearing my partner and threatening his career? I decided rather quickly that I would never run for office since my guy is more important me than anything else.

I Am Finally Done With Politics...I Think (Part 3)

2011-11-05T01:19:00.002-04:00

Two weeks ago the Chairman of the Northampton County Democratic Party announced that one of the Republican candidates for Bethlehem City Council posted a picture of his penis on a gay sex/porn website.

This is disgraceful

This is disgusting

This is awful

This should force the Chairman of the Northampton County Party to resign.

If a horny young man wants to share his goods with other horny young men who am I to judge.

I do not care to whom a candidate or an office holder shows his dick. As long it is consenting.

How does this photo op in any way impact on the way police protect my street, how my leaves are picked up, and how many tourists come to town to support our small business people (Hell it may even help).

When I first read about this story my initial reaction was to resign from my position as a Democratic Committeeman immediately because I believe the purpose Walt Garvin’s announcement was to smear Tony Simao with “being gay” or worse yet “being gay and Republican.”

I don’t understand how someone can be gay & Republican but a lot of folks are.

I don’t know Mr. Simao views on gay rights issues but I believe he has the right to show his dick to whoever is willing look at it.

After two weeks of discussion with my guy and other trusted sounding boards I have decided that I do not want to be part of this Northampton County Democratic Party. Chairman Garvin will be receiving my resignation letter by the end of the week.

What Chairman Garvin did was homophobic.

This is another reason I am finally done with politics

End part 3

I Am Finally Done With Politics...I Think (Part 2)

2011-11-02T23:52:00.002-04:00

My friend Tina Smith, the force of nature, who is President of the Nazareth Chamber of Commerce, asked me to help out with a political debate co-sponsored with Slate Belt Chamber of Commerce. The debate was between County Councilman Ron Angle and his Democratic opponent Wind Gap Council President Scott Parsons. The undercard for the evening was a debate between incumbent County Controller Stephen Barron and Hanover Twp. Supervisor Stephen Salvesen.

I thought I was going to help edit audience questions or write questions in the absence of inquiries from the crowd. I ended up being the official time keeper for the event. I think I have found a new hobby, this kid can keep time, hold up a 10 second warning and what I can do with a red light and buzzer is nothing short of epic.

Being the time keeper forced me to pay attention to what the candidates were saying. I had a great time but I became even more disillusioned by politics.

We had two really knowledgeable incumbents both were clearly at the top of their game versus two very nice men, who cared about public service.

Stephen Barron seems capable and by most news accounts runs a well operated department. But he also appears to be overly partisan, a bit of a bully, into power, very ambitious and kind of too slick & snarky by far.

Stephen Salvesen is a man from a different era. He is tall, gray haired and very patrician. He had impeccable manners a firm handshake and looked me in the eye while speaking to me. Mr. Barron made fleeting eye contact and looked for someone more important (he clearly had no idea who I used to be). Mr. Salvesen is a retired businessman who seems to care about public service but at least on this night was clearly unprepared not only for the debate but for the position he was seeking. I lost count of how many times he said “I don’t know”; he even said “I don’t know what Mr. Barron does”. If Mr. Salvesen does not know what the County Controller does perhaps he should not be running for that office.

Councilman Angle needs no introduction or description to anyone who follows local politics. People either love him or detest him and he is very proud of the fact that he is disliked. In fact he mentioned how proud he was throughout the hour. I have to say that I was expecting Mr. Angle to be a completely unhinged mad man and I was disappointed in his relatively low key performance. Yes he was a tad rude and yes he interrupted his opponent too many times and his side half mumbled insults were annoying but I expected horns and fire and what I got was a man who knows what he is talking about. I don’t like Mr. Angle’s style and I don’t agree with very much of his political philosophy but I have never met someone who knows the ins and outs of county government better.

Scott Parsons is someone I could be comfortable voting for had he been better prepared for the debate and better informed about the issues facing the county right now. I liked his view of the role of government and his desire to bring some civility to politics, something Mr. Angle mocked constantly. The civility thing seemed to be the only issue Mr. Parsons seemed comfortable with and knowledgeable about. Ron Angle is a proven vote getter in that part of the county and it is going to take more than “Can’t we all just get along” to beat him.

So at the end of the night I was left with a feeling of dismay. Do the voters stick with obnoxious, unpleasant and perhaps competent incumbents or do they vote for apparently decent guys who want to bring a little calm and civility to public office. Guys who know what they are doing vs. guys who may need a little (Mr. Parsons) or a lot (Mr. Salvesen) on the job training.

Voting is often like pissing in the wind…You get relief but you also get wet with your own urine.

Do I really want to remain in a process that makes doing the right thing (voting, campaigning) seem so unsatisfying?

Do I really want to keep settling for the lesser of the evils? I have tried to always support the candidate that I thought would try to do the right thing but often after the primary I have had to swallow my pride and integrity and support the Democrat who really was just better than the Republican because he/she was a Democrat – I have rarely been satisfied.

End part two….

I Am Finally Done With Politics...I Think (Part 1)

2011-11-01T00:00:00.002-04:00

On Election Day 1968 I gathered a gang of friends and we marched from Centennial Elementary School to my neighborhood polling place chanting “Humphrey Humphrey he’s our man Nixon belongs in the garbage can”, I was 9. In 1972 I volunteered for the McGovern campaign, I spent most of my time running errands and getting coffee but I was helping out. I have vivid memories of the “Come Home America” campaign ads that featured Shirley MacLaine, Paul Newman and others, I was 13.

In 1975 during his concession speech then Easton Mayor Fred Ashton made special mention of young Don Flad for his tireless efforts on behalf of the campaign, I was 16. Later that year I contacted the Jimmy Carter campaign and asked if I could lead the effort for him in Northampton County, I received a really nice letter telling me that they would prefer someone old enough to vote but they would ensure that I was included in the formation of the local committee. In 1976 I scheduled a debate between myself and Andy Daub, Chairman of the GOP, before the student body of Easton High School. A teacher’s strike prevented the debate from taking place.

In 1980 Jeff Parks & I traveled the county campaigning for Jimmy Carter with this kid making most of the speeches. During that summer I went to DC for a White House internship. Once they found out my campaign experience they upgraded my security clearance and used me to give VIP tours of the White House and ferry messages back and forth to the campaign and convention staff. I had high security and VIP passes to the Democratic Convention and was able to hang at Studio 54 for the after party on the final night of the convention. I escorted Chip Carter around the Lehigh Valley on campaign visits, Miss Lillian made a point of giving me a hug for all my efforts and I drove the ABC and NBC reporters back and forth from the airport as they followed the First Lady as she pressed the flesh in Lehigh Valley Mall. State Senator Jeannette Reibman ran a campaign ad about me when she ran for congress.

In 1984 Walter Mondale offered me a job with his campaign in New Hampshire. I was asked to attend Jesse Jackson’s rally at Lafayette College because they wanted some noted and respected party leaders at the event. I was given VIP seating and escorted in early to an evening with Geraldine Ferraro.

In 1992 I stood in front of the Stonewall bar in a tight t-shirt and boxer shorts to campaign for Bill Clinton. During the inauguration parade my seats were so good that I slammed in to singing icon Judy Collins because neither one of us were paying attention to where we were walking.

Former State Representative and State Party Chairman TJ Rooney called me the conscience of the Democratic Party. I organized some of the most successful fundraising dinners for the party. Candidates bragged about my support and resented me when I did not support them. I was a big fish in a little pond.

And, then I walked away from it and tried not to look back. I still helped out Bob Freeman from time to time and last year I dove back in head first to support John Callahan for Congress. In my euphoria I got myself elected to the County/City Democratic committees and ran a one day, well received; write in campaign for the State Senate. I thought that I was ready to jump back into the arena.

I was wrong. I actually dislike politics now more than I did when I walked away the first time.

End Part One…..

I Have Been Thinking

2011-10-30T13:17:00.000-04:00

This and That

Understand sarcasm.

Embrace sarcasm.

Be sarcastic.

Have a sense of humor – there is a lot of stuff out there that we can laugh at.

Do not take yourself so serious – no one else does.

Sometimes it is OK to just say… “OK I can live with that”.

Stupidity should be painful.

Being wealthy and or successful is not wrong nor is it a crime.

If you abuse your position as a wealthy and or successful person it is wrong and should be a crime.

George Clooney, Cher, Jennifer Lopez, Christian Bale, Tyler Florence are stars – Rob Kardashian is a pampered rich kid and according to popular media a noted douche bag he is not a star.

Barack Obama rid the world of Osama Bin Laden, Kaddafi, Al-Alawki , nurtures the Arab spring and is ending the Iraq war. And the GOP thinks these are flaws?

We need more commentary from Joan Walsh and less commentary from Pat Buchannan.

If the media is so liberal why does Fox News control the agenda?

Rick Santorum is not a serious person.

Charlie Dent is really not an effective legislator: During the last congressional session he introduced a bill to strip the citizenship of the 2^nd most hated person in America; Anwar Al-Alawki. He could not get it to pass. The President took care of the issue for us and now Rep. Dent can go about doing what he does best…..”Be a nice guy”

I have more respect for Pat Toomey than I do Charlie Dent. I doubt that I can find anything that Sen. Toomey and I agree on but at least he stands for something.

There is nothing wrong with being a moderate. But, have core set of beliefs and do not moderate away from them.

If you do not vote in every single election you should not ever discuss issues of public policy with me. I don’t care what you think if you can’t take the time and effort to understand the issues and why voting is more than just a right it is an obligation.

Ron Paul used to be Ron Paul – now he is corrupted by the media.

The Senate of the United States is not a democratic institution.

More to follow

The President Called

2011-09-07T00:03:00.004-04:00

If the President actually did call me for advice: I am in italics & POTUS is in red

Ring Ring

Hello

Donald Flad

Yes

Please hold for the President

Excuse me

The President is on the line and he would like to speak to you.

I stand up and straighten my shirt for some reason

Hello Donald, it’s Barack

Yes sir

I heard that you think I should call you because I am not living up to your expectations.

Well sir, I never said that

But that was your point

Well sir in fact I do have some advice.

I hear some muffed discussion (I think the President is covering the mouth piece but I hear a little)

“Not now Joe I’m talking to that Flad guy you like” “Yes, Joe I will tell him you said hello” “No, Joe I am not going to ask him about the money he and Jeff Parks owes you”

Sorry Donald you still there?

Yes sir – May I sit down?

Why are you standing?

I am speaking to you

I am not in the room so the standing up thing is not necessary

Thank you sir

Are you always this formal?

Well… I am speaking to the President of the United States.

I have ordered the Secret Service to keep the Vice President out of the office so you have my undivided attention.

If I were advising you about your Thursday speech; I would not make it.

Really why?

The Republicans have ruined Joint Sessions speeches with their “You lying” and tweeting that you hate your country during them. You might as well be speaking before a group of high school kids.

I have spoken to high school kids and believe me they are more attentive.

I would do this:

Fuck Congress – Go over their head – speak directly to the people.

Make the same speech over and over again for 24 hours and not always in a setting comfortable for you.

On the front steps of the New York Stock Exchange – Talk about jobs on the door step of those who claim to create them.

South Philly – These folks are Democrats but they have not always been supportive of black candidates

Nashville – one of the buckles in the Bible belt – the stars will be there to support you and you will reach the country western market – a quick side trip to Memphis and a BBQ shack along the Mississippi.

Kansas City and add some Harry Truman quotes

Omaha – Warren Buffet likes you and he wants you to succeed –ask him to introduce you before a lecture

Salt Lake City – You will get 13 votes in Utah but the Mormon’s are polite and respectful – stage a rally on the BYU campus – You are the President – They would not dare turn you down

Texas – Where is W building his library? Speak on that campus

Denver – You won’t fill the stadium again but remind them about the important part they played in your nomination

Arizona – Piss on John McCain

San Diego – Issa’s base and a pretty conservative town

Alaska – go there – Speak there – you will get a bigger crowd than the quitter and may be able to bring Murkowski over to our party if you play you cards right

Hawaii – you are home – fill the stadium after you spend 24 hours hanging out with the service members on base – bring them with you to the speech

Fly back to DC and walk your job creating bill up the steps of the capital and hand it to the Speaker of the House and the Majority Leader of the Senate

The President Should Call Me

2011-09-04T12:03:00.004-04:00

DonaldFladjr Donald Flad Jr

I wonder if I can go all day without watching or reading current event/news/politics? I am worn the "F" out & disgusted

I tweeted this Thursday during a break at work.

When 5:00 rolled around I asked my guy to turn off Chris Matthews, we didn’t watch the local news and instead of watching Brian Williams we watched Curb Appeal. Thursday was so successful that I continued the little challenge into Friday and when that went well I tried into Saturday. I did watch a little CNN Saturday before work but there was so little actual news I don’t believe I cheated.

The only news I received was from my Twitter feed. If I depended on that for news I would think that Barack Obama would be King of the World and all the Republican candidates are off the wall crack pots. Well, half of that is true; Obama is not King of the World.

What caused my frustration and disgust? What made me turn my back on Chris, Brian, Anderson and Mika? Who made me avoid reading Arianna, Joan, Maureen, Frank and Tina?

Barack H. Obama.

Yes the man I have spent the last 3+ years defending, supporting, explaining, encouraging patience for and believing that he will make a difference.

I explained that he was following the rules set out by the constitution in his approach to overturning DADT & DOMA.

I defended the no drama Obama, not an angry black man approach to his opponents.

I supported his ramping up operations in Afghanistan and thought his approach to Libya was smart.

I justified his compromises on health care reform.

I knew he could not be the first President to allow the nation to default.

I accused his opponents of being racists and called out their hypocrisy when they criticized him for doing the same things his predecessor(s) have done.

And, I will continue to come to his defense but I am tired and this week after all the months of seemingly rudderless leadership, listless public appearances and cold and emotional appeals to national unity he had a chance to slam dunk the Republicans.

Eric Cantor, an earthquake and a hurricane gave the President and his party a chance to really win the week and begin to bring the debate back around to our terms. Democrats are the party that believes government can make a difference and improve people’s lives. FEMA was continuing to get high marks; Secretary Napolitano was all over the media and handling the various crises with professionalism and care. The King Memorial was opening and the media was discussing how far we have come, we were getting ready for the 10^th anniversary of 9-11 which was surely to bring the nation together for a brief moment and Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman under the guidance of Rush Limbaugh were stepping all over each other to be more extreme and people were beginning to the think that one of these loons may become President and getting a little concerned.

And, what did the smartest person in the room do? He started a pissing match by asking to have yet another speech to the nation scheduled at the same time as a Republican debate. He looked small, he looked petty and he looked like just any other grandstanding politician. On top of all that he lost the pissing match and once again had to back down.

Why? What was the point of this? What was the purpose? What were they thinking? Where is the person in the room who says “Snap out of it!”? I thought Bill Daley was supposed to solve all these problems and bring order, discipline and maturity to the inner workings of the White House. Apparently I was misinformed.

I am available Mr. President please call me, I am willing to trade in one dead end job for another.

I am tired and I am disgusted and I am not sure how much more enthusiastic support I can muster up.

But, I will continue to try but please Mr. President you have to meet me half way.

Jean

2011-08-31T06:08:00.000-04:00

My neighbor and friend Jean died last week. She would have turned 93 this November. Despite being that age her death took us all by surprise. Just a few weeks ago she was walking the 2 ½ blocks to 7-11 to buy a pack of cigarettes. Just a week before her death she was down in the basement doing her laundry, tending to her garden, checking on the health of her younger neighbor Ann, who celebrated her 80^th birthday this spring, she was sorting and organizing all of our mail for us and she was ensuring the portico light was turned on.

Suddenly this fierce, funny and independent woman who loved the occasional vodka tonic took ill and within days died. Thursday morning she was talking her to her daughters and then she closed her eyes and let go. Jean died the way she wanted to at home and quietly. She had never been to the doctor’s or the hospital and she refused all care during her last days. The only medicine she had ever taken was a baby aspirin. There was no funeral and an obituary was not put in the paper, like I said she was fiercely independent and wanted to leave this world with no strings attached.

Every year Jean would ascend the 64 steps to our place for our annual holiday party an after dominating and charming the crowd she would announce it was time to leave all the men in attendance would vie for the opportunity to escort her back down the steps to her front door.

Jean would always gather our mail for us when we were on vacation, when we returned we would find it neatly placed in a little gift bag usually with a ribbon tied into a bow closing the bag. During our annual neighborhood yard sale she would get up early and spend the next few hours helping us drag stuff out and would invariably buy one or two things. We knew she did need the items but she just wanted be supportive of our efforts.

A couple of months ago I stopped Jean as she was about take her walk to 7-11 and offered her a ride. She said she enjoyed the walk, the exercise was good for her and she was going to do it until she could not longer. That’s pretty much how it worked out for her.

Jean was 2 years old when women were granted the right to vote. She was 21 when WW II started in Europe. She was 45 when JFK was assassinated and she was 90 when Barack Obama was elected President. Imagine the history Jean had witnessed throughout her life. Yet, I never heard her mention much about the past and she never really discussed the future either. She preferred to live in the present.

Our charming little building will never be the same without Jean Lillis and everyone who lives here benefited from having her live among us.

Mommy, They Are Just Like Me

2011-08-24T08:36:00.004-04:00

I found this on-line at about 100 different websites, I am not sure who or what the original source is.

It gave me something to think about. I blog about tonight (I hope).

“Mommy, they are just like me.”

My oldest son is six years old and in love for the first time. He is in love with Blaine from Glee.

For those who don’t know Blaine is a boy…a gay boy, the boyfriend of one of the main characters, Kurt.

This isn’t a ‘he thinks Blaine is really cool’ kind of love. It is a mooning at a picture of Blaine’s face for a half hour followed by a wistful “He’s so pretty” kind of love.

He loves the episode where two boys kiss. My son will call people in from other parts of the house to make sure they don’t miss his ‘favorite part.’ He’s been known to rewind it and watch it over again…and force other to, as well, if he doesn’t think people have been paying enough attention.

This infatuation doesn’t bother me or his father. We live in a very hip-liberal neighborhood, many of our friends are gay, and idea of having a gay son isn’t something that bothers either of us. Our son is going to be who he is, and it is our job to love him. End of story.

He is also six. Six year olds get obsessed with all kinds of things. This might not mean anything at all. We always joke that he’s either gay, or we have the best blackmail material in the history of mankind when he’s a 16 year old straight boy. (Take that naked bath time pictures!)

Then the other day we were traveling across the state listening to the Warblers album (of course), and in the middle of Candles, my son pipes up from the back seat.

“Mommy, Kurt and Blaine are boyfriends.”

“Yes, they are,” I affirm.

“They don’t like kissing girls. They just kiss boys.”

“That’s true.”

“Mommy, they are just like me.”

“That’s great, baby. You know I love you no matter what?”

“I know…” I could hear him rolling his eyes at me.

When we got home I recapped this conversation to his Dad, and we stood simply looking into each other’s eyes for a moment. Then we smiled.

“So if at 16 he wants to make a big announcement at the dinner table, we can say ‘You told us when you were six. Pass the carrots’ and he’ll be disappointed we stole his big dramatic moment,” my husband says with a laugh and hugs me.

Only time will tell if my son is gay, but if he is I am glad he’s mine. I am glad he has been born into our family. A family full of people who will love and accept him. People who will never want him to change. With parents who will look forward to dancing at his wedding.

And I have to admit, Blaine would be a really cute son-in-law

Source http://bit.ly/mRzwhw

It Does Get Better

2011-08-16T03:27:00.001-04:00

I am having a hard time falling asleep tonight so I have been surfing the web. I came across a series of “It Gets Better” YouTube postings. For those of you who do not know they are short(ish) video postings against bullying by and against young people.

Dan Savage started this campaign as a result of the rash of young people, mostly gay, who took their own lives because they could no longer deal with the hurt that was being thrust upon them by their peers. The videos are not really geared toward the bullies but to the recipients of the bullying.

These videos have become somewhat trendy but many are still are quit moving. The President, Vice President and Secretary of State have all produced videos as well as most of the rest of the cabinet and members of congress led by the Nancy Pelosi. Many of the elites of the entertainment and business worlds have joined in. Tonight I watched one produced by a few Orthodox Jewish young men that was both heart breaking and hopeful at the same time.

It is a simple message, things may be tough now but it won’t last forever and it will get better, you will graduate from high school, you will become an adult and you will leave all of that badness behind.

I am here to tell you that it does get better. I was a tall, gangly ok scrawny, red head with glasses, a silver front tooth, and the not very coordinated son of one of Easton’s greatest athletes. I stuttered, I wore glasses, I had ADD before anyone knew what it was, and I was obsessed with my church/religion and politics. I was more comfortable with my parent’s friends than I was with kids my own age.

I had a few friends and one in particular was oddly supportive and protective at the same time. For some reason this very athletic, handsome, graceful and well spoken kid liked me and was always there to back me up. We were quite a pair from the 4^th grade through high school he and his family we like a second family to me. I would stumble and trip, I would have panic attacks while trying to play football, I would try to debate him in class and in spite of the stutter he always allowed me to have my say. I am to this day very grateful for the friendship of both Donn and his family and I wish the years have not separated us.

But he or a few other “body guards” could not protect me. I was bullied, A lot. Hell, even the girls tried to beat me up a few times after getting off the 6^th grade bus. I just retreated to my books and left the world for a little while.

I am ashamed to say that I participated in some bullying myself. One of the boys I helped to bully once said to me “Why are you of all people doing this?” I just looked at him and shrugged. I of course knew that I was doing it for self protection; at least they weren’t coming after me. He of course knew this and was at times guilty of the same crime.

But, through it all something inside me forced me to push on, sure I thought about just chucking it all in, quite frankly I still do. Because this shit is hard, nothing ever came or comes easy for me, everyday is a struggle but I still have hope. My guy does what he can to help it getter better for me. I have friends, I have family and most importantly through it all like Bill Clinton “I still believe in a place called Hope”.

So, if you know of a young one getting the shit kicked out him just because he is not like all the other boys or if you know of girl who is just not quite fitting in, reach out, tell him his is great, tell her she is special. Tell them it does and it will Get Better.

If they need more information or if you do please check out the below websites.

http://www.thetrevorproject.org http://www.pointfoundation.org

I Wonder If They Really Care

2011-08-04T20:42:00.001-04:00

102 THINGS NOT TO DO IF YOU HATE TAXES

1. Do not use Medicare.
2. Do not use Social Security
3. Do not become a member of the US military, who are paid with tax dollars.
4. Do not ask the National Guard to help you after a disaster.
5. Do not call 911 when you get hurt.
6. Do not call the police to stop intruders in your home.
7. Do not summon the fire department to save your burning home.
8. Do not drive on any paved road, highway, and interstate or drive on any bridge.
9. Do not use public restrooms.
10. Do not send your kids to public schools.
11. Do not put your trash out for city garbage collectors.
12. Do not live in areas with clean air.
13. Do not drink clean water.
14. Do not visit National Parks.
15. Do not visit public museums, zoos, and monuments.
16. Do not eat or use FDA inspected food and medicines.
17. Do not bring your kids to public playgrounds.
18. Do not walk or run on sidewalks.
19. Do not use public recreational facilities such as basketball and tennis courts.
20. Do not seek shelter facilities or food in soup kitchens when you are homeless and hungry.
21. Do not apply for educational or job training assistance when you lose your job.
22. Do not apply for food stamps when you can’t feed your children.
23. Do not use the judiciary system for any reason.
24. Do not ask for an attorney when you are arrested and do not ask for one to be assigned to you by the court.
25. Do not apply for any Pell Grants.
26. Do not use cures that were discovered by labs using federal dollars.
27. Do not fly on federally regulated airplanes.
28. Do not use any product that can trace its development back to NASA.
29. Do not watch the weather provided by the National Weather Service.
30. Do not listen to severe weather warnings from the National Weather Service.
31. Do not listen to tsunami, hurricane, or earthquake alert systems.
32. Do not apply for federal housing.
33. Do not use the internet, which was developed by the military.
34. Do not swim in clean rivers.
35. Do not allow your child to eat school lunches or breakfasts.
36. Do not ask for FEMA assistance when everything you own gets wiped out by disaster.
37. Do not ask the military to defend your life and home in the event of a foreign invasion.
38. Do not use your cell phone or home telephone.
39. Do not buy firearms that wouldn’t have been developed without the support of the US Government and military. That includes most of them.
40. Do not eat USDA inspected produce and meat.
41. Do not apply for government grants to start your own business.
42. Do not apply to win a government contract.
43. Do not buy any vehicle that has been inspected by government safety agencies.
44. Do not buy any product that is protected from poisons, toxins, etc…by the Consumer Protection Agency.
45. Do not save your money in a bank that is FDIC insured.
46. Do not use Veterans benefits or military health care.
47. Do not use the G.I. Bill to go to college.
48. Do not apply for unemployment benefits.
49. Do not use any electricity from companies regulated by the Department of Energy.
50. Do not live in homes that are built to code.
51. Do not run for public office. Politicians are paid with taxpayer dollars.
52. Do not ask for help from the FBI, S.W.A.T, the bomb squad, Homeland Security, State troopers, etc…
53. Do not apply for any government job whatsoever as all state and federal employees are paid with tax dollars.
54. Do not use public libraries.
55. Do not use the US Postal Service.
56. Do not visit the National Archives.
57. Do not visit Presidential Libraries.
58. Do not use airports that are secured by the federal government.
59. Do not apply for loans from any bank that is FDIC insured.
60. Do not ask the government to help you clean up after a tornado.
61. Do not ask the Department of Agriculture to provide a subsidy to help you run your farm.
62. Do not take walks in National Forests.
63. Do not ask for taxpayer dollars for your oil company.
64. Do not ask the federal government to bail your company out during recessions.
65. Do not seek medical care from places that use federal dollars.
66. Do not use Medicaid.
67. Do not use WIC.
68. Do not use electricity generated by Hoover Dam.
69. Do not use electricity or any service provided by the Tennessee Valley Authority.
70. Do not ask the Army Corps of Engineers to rebuild levees when they break.
71. Do not let the Coast Guard save you from drowning when your boat capsizes at sea.
72. Do not ask the government to help evacuate you when all hell breaks loose in the country you are in.
73. Do not visit historic landmarks.
74. Do not visit fisheries.
75. Do not expect to see animals that are federally protected because of the Endangered Species List.
76. Do not expect plows to clear roads of snow and ice so your kids can go to school and so you can get to work.
77. Do not hunt or camp on federal land.
78. Do not work anywhere that has a safe workplace because of government regulations.
79. Do not use public transportation.
80. Do not drink water from public water fountains.
81. Do not whine when someone copies your work and sells it as their own. Government enforces copyright laws.
82. Do not expect to own your home, car, or boat. Government organizes and keeps all titles.
83. Do not expect convicted felons to remain off the streets.
84. Do not eat in restaurants that are regulated by food quality and safety standards.
85. Do not seek help from the US Embassy if you need assistance in a foreign nation.
86. Do not apply for a passport to travel outside of the United States.
87. Do not apply for a patent when you invent something.
88. Do not adopt a child through your local, state, or federal governments.
89.Do not use elevators that have been inspected by federal or state safety regulators.
90. Do not use any resource that was discovered by the USGS.
91. Do not ask for energy assistance from the government.
92. Do not move to any other developed nation, because the taxes are much higher.
93. Do not go to a beach that is kept clean by the state.
94. Do not use money printed by the US Treasury.
95. Do not complain when millions more illegal immigrants cross the border because there are no more border patrol agents.
96. Do not attend a state university.
97. Do not see any doctor that is licensed through the state.
98. Do not use any water from municipal water systems.
99. Do not complain when diseases and viruses, that were once fought around the globe by the US government and CDC, reach your house.
100. Do not work for any company that is required to pay its workers a livable wage, provide them sick days, vacation days, and benefits.
101. Do not expect to be able to vote on election days. Government provides voting booths, election day officials, and voting machines which are paid for with taxes.
102. Do not ride trains. The railroad was built with government financial assistance

Copied from http://www.addictinginfo.org/

I wonder how many members of the Tea Party movement really understand what they claim to believe.

I wonder how many of the Congressional “Conservatives” who voted to send this nation into default understand what government really does.

I wonder if they really care.

Reading Mary McGory

2011-07-28T23:22:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I was visiting a local hospital and in their cafeteria they have a little charity book shop. A person could either read the book there like a library or buy one on the honor system. Hard backs were 75cents. I am a sucker for used book stores or even just a couple of shelves of them. You never know what little piece of brilliance you will find. I was down to the last shelf and about to give up, there were mostly romance novels and murder mysteries and other stuff I don’t read.

Then I found The Best of Mary McGory; A Half-Century of Washington Commentary.

Mary McGory was a Washington based journalist and institution. She was of that generation who could be friendly with the people she covered and yet still be honest when writing about them. She was a volunteer at an orphanage and every year she would gather all the children and a few DC most important names and host a swim party at Ethel Kennedy’s pool. Presidents, Princes, Senators and anyone else hoping to be accepted in Washington DC courted her. People knew they made it when they were invited to one of her legendary Sunday brunches.

When she began her career in the newspaper business women were relegated to the book review section and Ms. McGory was no exception. Her editor was so impressed with her writing and analysis skills that he sent her to the Army-McCarthy hearings and had her report back her observations. A star was born. Most of her career was spent at the Washington Star and when the paper folded she moved to the Post. In 1974 she was the first woman to win a Pulitzer Prize for her columns on Watergate and Richard Nixon.

I was familiar with Mary McGory from her many appearances on Meet the Press and through interviews but I had never read her columns. Leafing through the book I found her column remembering Tip O’Neal after his death and I was blown away by not only what she had to say but how she wrote it. Her remembrance of Thurgood Marshall was equally good and before I knew it I had read about 10 columns. Then I read the jacket flaps and then the table of contents. I had pretty much decided to pay the 75 cent tab for the book when I flipped one more page to a preface written by Maureen Dowd, I clutched my heart, gasped for air and threw a dollar in the money box. It turns out Ms. Dowd was mentored by Mary McGory early in her career.

I have put Don Lemon’s memoirs on the back burner so I can read more of Mary McGory’s columns because Maureen Dowd would expect no less of me.

Spend a Little of Your On-Line Time With These Folks

2011-07-25T09:17:00.003-04:00

Update on some of the blogs that I read;

Lehigh Valley Independent has gone away and it's a good thing. The chief creative officer of that blog realized he was doing all the work so he closed it and began JonGeeting.net. Same genius, same clarity and same thought provoking commentary but now Jon will get all the credit he deserves.

Tightly Wound Mom of Twins and Todd Dietrich are participating in the 90 posts in 90 days adventure. I said I would participate as well. I lasted 5 days. What does that say about me?

Life of M. R. Sack This guy is the son I never had but no doubt would have deserved. Mike is a smart young man recovering his life and he has invited us along this difficult but essential journey.

There was a time when many of our conversations would start like this.

Me "What the fuck were you thinking? Oh now wait you weren't thinking were you. You never fucking do"

Mike "umm hi Dad"

Our conversations are much more interesting now and we both talk and we both listen. Thanks Son.

Joan Walsh - From time to time this smart, witty and wonderful journalist engages in a Twitter conversation with me. Joan is a leading opinion maker her appearances on MSNBC are always spot on in their clarity and forthrightness. And, she reads this little blog. Ask my guy about my reaction when Ms. Walsh contacts me. (Hint: 13 year old girl sees Justin Bieber in the mall)

Martin on Main - Quickly becoming the little jewel of the summer festival season. Visit the web site but more importantly attend the event. I will see you there. (some volunteer opportunity are available)

Click through my links on the side and expand your world a little bit.

It's My Life - Aunt Mary's Funeral

2011-07-19T22:07:00.001-04:00

It’s odd what provokes a memory.

My maternal grandmother was raised in a Catholic orphanage in the Scranton area; it was not a positive experience for her, thus neither she nor her children remained in or joined the mother church. Her youngest brother remained in the faith however. It was her brother Tom’s death that delayed my coming out to my parents for a week or two. Tom’s wife, Aunt Mary, remained pretty faithful until a child molesting priest was transferred to her local parish in order to remove him from his previous assignment. Mary told the church officials that she would neither contribute nor attend mass as result of them harboring this man. Aunt Mary died a few years later and guess who the Monsignor decided to send to lead the funeral.

Most of the people in attendance at the funeral service were my grandmother’s children and grandchildren there may have been only three Catholics there. Father Pervert arrived at the funeral home smelling of cigarettes and cheap whiskey for an 11:00 AM service. He had to be reminded of Mary’s name and he knew absolutely nothing about her.

The good Father’s altered state only enhanced his lisp and inability to say the letter R, he kept losing his place, forgetting Mary’s name, referred to her son Tom as Thomas (no one ever called him that) and was so confused by the fact that the entire room said a different version of the Lord’s Prayer that it took him a good minute or two to regroup and continue the very rushed service. The funeral director was less than amused, my mother and her older sister had steam coming out of their ears and my sister, brother and I just kept giggling.

There was no mass so after the words at the funeral home we went directly to the cemetery. My father and I stood to the back of the crowd so my aunts and uncle could be up close to be near the immediate family. Father Pervert again messed up on Mary’s name, lost his place because the wind and rain kept flipping the pages of his book and the worse things got the worse his lisp got and now he sounded like the priest from the Princess Bride. My giggles became chuckles; my father would not look at me because he knew he would crack up too.

To my left was a very old man, no doubt and old friend of my great aunt. Father Pervert said something stupid so I looked away from my dad at the old man who took that moment to unleash some of the loudest flatulence that I have ever heard in my life and not just once but a whole series of them. That was it, my quiet chuckle became very loud whoop and uncontrollable very loud laughter. My mom and her sister turned around and glared at me and looked to my father with a “Why can’t you control him” look. I looked at my father and he was bright red and his shoulders were moving up and down as he was trying to suppress his laughter. I could not. I ran away and tried to hide behind some large tombstones but it was no good. We were in a part of Easton Heights Cemetery that was a fairly narrow valley and my whoops and gasps for air just echoed off the hills and the tombstones. I remained hidden behind Mr. Gerstel’s tombstone until almost everyone had left.

With tears still streaming down my face I climbed into my father’s car with my sister, parents and two aunts. “What was that all about, I cannot believe you have such little self control and discipline?” I explained and soon the entire car was bouncing up and down and the windows steamed up from the tears and laughter. None of could even look at each other at the luncheon because we would all just break down and fall into mad and foolish laughter.

Maybe it was our sadness from losing a much loved family member or maybe it was our frustrations at having Father Pervert make a mockery of Aunt Mary’s funeral but that day laughter was the best medicine for our healing.

· Today’s announcement that the much maligned Cardinal of Philadelphia was resigning as a result of his inability to properly deal with Father Pervert and his kind is what brought this memory back.

No Sense Of Humor Allowed

2011-06-27T19:08:00.002-04:00

I tweeted this:

DonaldFladjr Donald Flad Jr

Michelle Bachman is very stylish

I received this response within minutes

Shell96706 Michelle Walker-Cook

@DonaldFladjr Stylist in the style of Cruella Deville. Ugly insides will reveal themselves like Dorian Gray=I know the real Bachmann RECORD.

My response

DonaldFladjr Donald Flad Jr

@Shell96706 Calm Down - I am not a supporter I think she is a horror but she is very stylish and always looks well put together

This is what wrong with this our politics nobody has a sense of humor and apparently we are not allowed to say something nice about the people on the other side of the political fence.

Deepak Chopra Has Tweeted

2011-06-26T23:02:00.002-04:00

Deepak Chopra tweeted tonight that “Evolution is divine genius”

What is he trying to tell us?

Is he telling the world that G-d is behind evolution and therefore conservative Christians have it all wrong?

Is he giving cover to Michele Bachman and the rest of the GOP who pretend not to believe in science in order to gain political power?

Is he trying to capture the interest of those who do not watch anything on PBS?

Is he trying to get a contract with Fox News?

Or, is he just another guy, like me, who has an opinion on everything?

Death Before Marriage

2011-06-25T22:23:00.001-04:00

It appears I was the only person on the planet who was not over the moon about last night’s New York Senate vote to allow gay marriage. Not including the hideous people who oppose the concept of civil rights.

Let me be clear; I think what happened in New York last night was terrific and very important. It is one more step in the right direction. But, what happens in New York will stay in New York. My only hope is that a couple of militant lesbians will get married in New York and then return home to Ohio and will sue for equal rights. The case will go through the system and make it to the Supreme Court and the Justices will…….It’s hopeless.

I will be long dead before I will be able to get married.

One Nation Under... Or Are We?

2011-06-24T23:20:00.002-04:00

Sitting here sort of watching Supernatural, surfing the net looking at interesting news stories with the occasional foray into the realm of smut and keeping a tab open to a live steam of the New York State Senate as they vote on whether my gay brothers and sisters can be treated equally in the marriage department. The marriage bill has passed.

All citizens in the Empire State will be allowed to get married and participate in all the benefits therein. Actually no they won’t. Federal law will not recognize these marriages.

I will be able to get married in New York in about 30 days which will mean absolutely nothing because I live in Pennsylvania.

Which begs the question: Are we a nation or are we a confederation? A confederation was rejected in 1789 and yet it is an issue that this country still struggles with.

The civil war was fought over what was more supreme; the individual states or the federal government. The federal government won, sort of.

Most of us thought the issue of nullification was resolved when Lee surrendered to Grant.

Then a black man was elected President and suddenly southern state governors were discussing the right to nullify federal law and one of them Perry of Texas mentioned the right to succeed from the union.

Should we not have one standard though out the nation?

A child in Virginia is taught a different version of our nation’s history than a child in Maine.

What passes for a healthy school lunch is different in Minnesota than it is in Florida.

Clean water rules are different in California than they are in West Virginia.

Worker safety protections are not the same in Georgia as they are in Maryland.

The price of gas is cheaper in New Jersey than here in Pennsylvania and we have to pump it ourselves.

We will not truly be a nation until the notion of state’s rights is dead and buried.

We Did Not Talk

2011-06-23T22:46:00.003-04:00

While sitting at a candidate’s night before the recent primary my friend Silagh asked me if I wanted to attend Tony Kushner’s new play, The Intelligent Homosexual’s Guide To Capitalism And Socialism With A Key To The Scriptures. She thought I would be a good resource for trying to understand some of the underlying themes and currents of this very multi-layered play. I am a gay man of a certain age who has survived the dark days of AIDS and had spent enough quality time in New York during the 80’s and 90’s to understand some of Mr. Kushner’s references. This play was so clear and its meanings so evident and its message are so universal I am pretty certain that Silagh did not need me there, but I am so happy and dare I say blessed that I had the opportunity to attend.

We had a great day beginning with a relatively easy bus ride into the city. The bus had free WIFI so we pulled out our mobile devices and off we went. On the bus I read some stories about Tony Kushner but I did not read any reviews of the play itself. Not that anyone else’s opinion matter but I did not want the New York Times or New York magazine in the back of mind as I was watching the play. We had intended to visit a museum before the play but decided a nice walk down 5^th Avenue to have drinks and snacks at Mesa Grill. It gave us an opportunity to talk some more. This is something Silagh and I do a lot of.

I met Silagh more than a year ago via Twitter, we then met for lunch, I learned how to pronounce her name, we talked so much we barely ate our food and we have been talking ever since. On the way home, however, we did not discuss the play, I think we were both so drained, so overwhelmed, so moved by what we had just witnessed that our words would just seem small compared to Tony Kushner’s, I know mine were/are insufficient. During both intermissions I fled the theater to a) compose myself, b) to try to comprehend and c) to try to find the words to express my thoughts, emotions and the resulting feelings. I called home and said things like; “Oh My God”, “I am so drained”, “This is amazing”, “Stunning” etc. I could not find the words then and I am still struggling with the appropriate words to express my reactions. On the way home Silagh and I did not discuss the play, in fact we spoke very little. We just processed and learned.

Comment Deleted

2011-06-23T22:41:00.004-04:00

I had to delete a comment from my last post. It was off topic, rude, inane and offensive. This was the first time I had to delete a comment but this did not pass my smell test. Believe me I am offended by very little but this one just did not need to be shared with you all.

Thanks

It's My Life - Coming out Pt 3

2011-06-22T22:50:00.004-04:00

ü Self acceptance

ü Research

ü Spiritual teacher consulted

ü Old friend /political pal

ü Close friends

ü Co-workers

ü Confidence

I was now ready for the next step. Having THE discussion with the family. Rev. Steve was of two thoughts – I must not while I still lived at home and I must because he knows my parents better than I do. Bob Freeman was concerned also but more for my emotional state. Friends / co-workers offered me a place to live if things did not go well but they were pretty certain things would turn out just fine.

This next full disclosure conversations would take place in two rounds; sister and brother in law one week and parents the following Sunday, my brother who is 6 years my junior would wait until later.

I made an appointment with my sister and after a few stammers and false starts and a little small talk – I said “I have something to tell you” “I’m Gay”. After the usual questions of are you sure, are you OK and the like we decided on the plan of action for telling my parents. The conversation was calm and relaxed and not all that intense. Even my idiotic brother-in-law was shockingly supportive and cogent in his thoughts. My sister thankfully shed him many years ago and he was later replaced by a saint and one of the smartest people I will ever know. My sister would snatch up my brother after church and I would tell my parents as soon as we got home.

I notified all my friends and put both Rev. Steve and current pastor on noticed. Our pastor at the time was John Thomas a very thoughtful and liberal Yankee, we became good friends. John would later on assume the burden as President / General Minister of The United Church of Christ. A job only little less difficult than Sec. of State or Director of the CIA. Everyone was on standby for Sunday and they put their lives on hold to be ready for me and or my parents. Then my mother’s favorite uncle died. Uncle Tom was a wicked funny, naughty little leprechaun of a man and a beloved figure to us all. The big reveal was put on hold for one week.

The next ten days were nerve wracking but the extra time fortified me and gave me more time to rehearse. After church my sister swooped up Chris and I rode home with the folks. Before we all had a chance to change out of our Sunday best I asked my parents to sit down in the living room, I wanted to discuss something with them. The looked at each other and my dad bit his lower lip and my mom fiddled with something.

“Mom Dad I want to tell you that I am gay” “I am sure of it and I accept it and I hope you can find a way too as well”

Mom “So do you have a friend?”

Me “What do you mean?”

Mom “Well, you just came back from visiting Donn in DC and well we thought since you two have been inseparable since you were little we just figured he was your err um friend”

We had some more discussion; they never asked me if I was sure.

I then asked what she meant by “We just figured?” “Have you discussed this?”

Mom “Well, after the finding the books under your bed last year we just waited for you to tell us” “Why did you lie to me then?”

Me “I wasn’t ready”

Mom “OK”

I told them that Donn was not my um err friend.

Mom “Well when you get one make sure you bring him around”

My mother and I had done all the talking; Dad just sort of sat there trying not to look stricken or hurt. He said that the only thing that really bothered him was that I was afraid that they would reject me or no longer love me. “Of course we still love you, you are our child.” “Parents either love their children or they don’t, we do”

They told me that they were worried for my future and that a lot of people may reject me and things may not always be easy but they were not disappointed. Their only hurt was that I was not following their dreams for me but in the end only my dreams mattered. My sister had a child so the issue of grandchildren was not an issue.

The conversation ran its course and after an hour or so it ended. I told them that I had my friends on call so I was going to spend the rest of the day drinking on college hill, they chuckled.

I told them that I had the ministers sitting by the phone ready to discuss whatever concerns they may have or to just listen if need be. They assured me that was not necessary. I found out a short time later it was very much necessary but the many conversations my parents had with these two spiritual leaders and friends were always very positive and they were more concerned about me then they were themselves.

I went upstairs to change out of my church clothes; I called all active parties and went about my day.

I have brought um err friends home; one they were fond of and another they fell in love with.

It's My Life - Coming Out Pt 2

2011-06-21T22:53:00.001-04:00

When I got home the evening after the phone call nothing was said. In fact nothing was ever said again. Before this my mother would sometimes asked me if I thought certain men, celebrity or otherwise were handsome or good looking. I always gave a vague answer. After the phone call she never asked again.

I think I read about 10 books from various sources and various level of expertise but all were positive and affirming. Some discussed the hard ships I may have to endure and some were more hopeful. This was before Al Gore invented the internet so I to either had to buy them from Walden Books or take them out of the library. Two books were more helpful than the others.

“Loving Someone Gay” by Don Clark, Ph.D. It is and honest and thoughtful book that was helpful in understanding who I was, why I was, and how I could help others understand and accept me. Don’t forget this was 1981 all this gay stuff still had to be explained.

“The Best Little Boy in the World” by John Reid. This book saved my life. It is a memoir of a normal acting, politically aware, social active young man with a secret. John Reid was a pen name used by Wall Street giant Andrew Tobias who has also served as Treasurer of the Democratic National Committee.

The research was done. I had no idea what was going to happen next but I was better prepared to begin the long slog of coming out. Which it turns out is a never ending process, but more on that later.

The next step was to tell someone. I chose our churches former pastor and a close family friend. Steve Sterner had left the little congregation in Easton but was still very much a part of our lives. Steve and family were as much a part of our family as any of my uncles and aunts. I wrote Steve this brutally honest 12 page letter. A week or so later I received a letter in response. Steve addressed the letter to me with a note on the envelope that it was personal and meant for me alone. I am a junior so he wanted to make sure that my father did not read it. This little note caused a bit of drama that we all laughed over later. Steve’s letter was frank and helpful and he was clearly pained by the angst I was going through and he helped me find a local resource. Later in his career while trying to get his congregation to become open and affirming to gay congregants he told my/our story in a sermon. Needless to say I was honored and quite touched to be the subject of this great man’s sermon. To this day Steve Sterner is one of the best preachers I have ever heard.

Step 2 was to tell someone face to face. For that honor I chose soon to be elected State Representative Bob Freeman. I sat Bob down during the summer of 1982 while my parents were on vacation. It should come as no surprise to anyone that Bob was the perfect choice. At the end of this very supportive conversation he asked me to not be very open until after he was elected, he was afraid that it could hurt a campaign that we had spent years planning and running and we could smell victory. We both laughed to relieve the tension but I agreed. Even all these years later I am grateful and thankful to the very honorable Mr. Freeman. He included me in his wedding and if he gets off his ass and allows me to get married I will include him in mine.

Now it was time to tell other friends and co-workers. It took me a really long time to get though college because I kept taking time off to find myself and earn money. This was one of those off times. I told my closest friends at dinner one night and after a few questions and a few tears from a young woman who was forced to check me off her list, I was glad I did. They were there for me for the rest of the initial coming out process and a little beyond.

It's My Life - Coming Out Pt 1

2011-06-21T00:21:00.001-04:00

I wonder if coming out is easier today than it was 30 years ago when I did?

I have joked in the past that I knew when I was in 4^th grade and that was that. On some level that may have been true but the reality of the situation was a tad more complex.

I had finally accepted the fact that my “white picket fence” dream was going to have a twist. Like everything else if I was going to a good gay I had to do some research. The community college had a number of self help / how to self accept / how to live life as and honest person / how to tell your parents / what to expect from life. But, I was not nearly ready to discuss this fact with anyone else let alone my family.

I was working part time at a luggage store in the Palmer Park Mall with women who were not only my parents age but two were classmates of my parents. Late one afternoon the phone rings, it’s my mother. She never called at work unless it was an emergency.

“Hi mom what’s wrong?”

“I was in your room today to change your sheets.” (My mother had not made my bed or changed my sheets since I was 5 years old; we were responsible for our own cleaning).

“Why would you do that? You never walk up to my room.” (I took over the attic and turned it into my suite)

“I thought I would be nice”

“And…”

“Well I found some books under your mattress” (The self help books)

“Oh..So why are you calling me at my job?” (Thank God I hid the Blueboy magazines in my sweater drawer)

“Are you Gay?”

“The books are for a report I am doing for my Psych class”

“Really… Why are you hiding them under your mattress?”

“You’re really calling me at my job to have this discussion? Really?” “Have you discussed this with dad?”

“No, that’s why I am calling you now”

“Do you really think that calling me at work is appropriate for this type of conversation?”

Silence

“I hid the books because I did not want you to see them because I knew it would provoke this conversation.”

“You know we can discuss this.”

“Bev… I am not gay I am doing a paper on homosexuality for my Psych class”

“You know that we will try to understand and that we love you”

“I am at work and you are calling me to discuss something you found under my mattress. I guess you won’t be changing my sheets anytime soon will you?”

“OK then I’ll see you at dinner”

“Yeah right and thanks for doing this while I am working”

Click

End part 1

It's My Life: A Concierge Story Pt 1

2011-06-04T12:06:00.002-04:00

I was asked to host a dinner for corporate executives and the company’s senior field staff, about 25 people in total. I discovered a steak house in King of Prussia that I really liked but before I committed to it for this dinner I invited 3 coworkers to confirm the choice.

One member of our little party is one of the most dignified and proper women I will ever know and she has a last name almost as old as Philadelphia itself, she was also a vegetarian. My friend was assured that everything she wanted would be strictly vegetarian. Before she ordered the sautéed mushrooms she really challenged the waiter on whether they would be prepared in a way that she could eat them. He assured her everything would be in edible. Dinner arrived and the mushrooms were clearly not vegetarian friendly, they were the mushrooms used to adorn the steaks. She shot me a look that she had learned from years of attending white gloved functions. I called our waiter over and as I began to explain that the mushrooms were not acceptable my friend raised her bejeweled right hand to stop me and with her left hand she silently summoned the waiter to her side. “My darling young man what part of I am a vegetarian did you not understand?” “How does sautéing mushroom in beef stock make this dish, which smells terrific and looks quite tasty qualify it as vegetarian?” “You do understand that just because a steak is not residing next to them on my plate does not make it vegetarian acceptable?” “Now dear, what else can you suggest for me to eat?” My friend never raised her voice, never showed any distress she just very calmly and succinctly demanded perfection and she got it. The meal was terrific.

The manager knew the purpose of the meal and offered to tour my guests around to see if they agreed that the location would work for a large private dinner. We all agreed that it would and met with the company President and Chairman the next day to discuss. I gave them the wine list they made their choices and I went back to the restaurant to plan the menu. I based it on previous dining experiences with the two bosses. I chose 6 butlered appetizers, a salad course, a soup course and 4 options for dinner; seafood, beef; chicken; pasta/vegetarian.

We arrived at the restaurant and the bosses liked the space and were charmed by the greeting they received from the manager and we were escorted to our private area. The wine was poured and the appetizers started. I stood in the corner and thought that things were going well. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw the President and Chairman looking over the menu. They looked up, found me and briskly walked over. I was expecting to be complimented….I was not.

These two me detested each other and rarely spoke to each other without the Executive Senior VP of HR and Cleaning Up Messes being in the room as well. But on this one night and on this one topic they were in complete agreement. The President was about my size but the Chairman was about 5’5”. They backed me up against a wall, one grabbed me by the knot of my tie the other rested his fist firmly in the middle of my rib cage.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” “Are you kidding with this fucking menu” “How can we trust you again?” “Perhaps you are not as sophisticated as you think you are” “Did you really think this would satisfy anyone?” “For Christ sake Flad how can you have embarrassed us like this?”

I responded; “What part are you upset about?” “You do realize that this place does not do banquets but made special arrangements to do this dinner?” “You can’t be upset with the quality of my choices? Can you?”

They did not mind the choices but “Why did you think it was a good idea to limit the choices my people could make?”

Me; “You wanted a cocktail hour(s) and you surely can’t expect people to order their own appetizers and still have them served like a party.”

Them “No, you smartass moron but the 4 choices for dinner will limit people” “I want an open menu and more appetizers and don’t tell me you limited dessert”

Me “You don’t think you’re over reacting?” “This falls within the budget I was given”

Them “Who gave you a budget?”

Me “I will see what I can do”

Them “Just fucking do it, this is quite disappointing”

And off I went to hunt down the manager. After a few tense moments in front of the broiler I assured him that it would be financially beneficial to everyone involved. I waited as he spoke to the head chef, I heard a loud bang. The manager came back and said no problem.

We came back out to the bosses to discuss the changes and the wait staff placed full menus at each place setting. The manager asked if he could speak to me for a moment. I followed him to the end of the bar, the head bar tender came over and the manager said; “I want my usual “fuck it” set up and give Mr. Flad here anything he fucking wants throughout the evening and if he brings the blond (my boss) out she is to get whatever the fuck she wants as well.” I ordered my usual martini and the manager just glared at me and looked to the bartender said “shoot him too.” We did a shot of the most amazing bourbon I have ever had.

The rest of the evening went well and the restaurant was treated very well by the bosses because they had a tip “pissing match.”

The Executive SR VP of HR and Cleaning Up Messes contacted me the next day to express the apologies and gratitude of the bosses. I hinted that a few extra shares of stock would heal my bruises, he hung up.

It's My Life - I Was Robbed

2011-05-22T21:59:00.001-04:00

During my White House Internship I lived in a dorm on the American University campus. I had never really been away from home for an extended period of time so I was a tad naïve. After my daily late afternoon 1 hour run (I did not measure miles I just always ran for an hour) I sat in my room discussing the evening dinner (drinking) plans with the older guy across the hall. After making plans I took a shower. Walking out of the shower room I saw a commotion at the end of the hall where my room was.

I came back to my room and saw that my wallet was empty and thrown on the floor. Clearly someone had robbed me. The only person it could have been was the guy I had just made dinner plans with. Dressed only in my towel all 121lbs of me raged across the hall and demanded my money back. He said I was only accusing him because he was black. No, I was accusing him because he was the only other person on the floor and he was just bitching about how broke he was before my shower. Push came to shove, my towel fell off and he was on the floor. I picked up the cash and told him that the first round was on me and just because I was half his size did not mean I could not and would not kick his ass if he tried to rob me again and if he needed some cash he just had to ask.

I grabbed my towel went back to my room locked the door, crawled under my bed and cried.

It's My Life #4 - According To Legend

2011-05-14T09:10:00.001-04:00

According to legend;

When I was baby I refused to crawl on the grass. I would only crawl on hard surfaces. Every time someone would put me down on the grass I would scream bloody murder. I am still not too thrilled with walking barefoot through the backyard.

Whenever I would get an ice cream cone I would turn it upside down and let the ice cream fall to the ground then pick it up place it back on the cone and eat it. Perhaps this was an early warning sign for my eventual lactose intolerance.

When playing with my cars and trucks I would not make the normal engine sounds – I would say car car car or truck truck truck while pushing them around the room. Even then words were important to me.

I used to suck my thumb so hard it would get infected. We used to have to wrap my thumb in gauze soaked in salt water and keep my hand wrapped in a plastic bag. After a few of these experiences I must have decided that thumb sucking was going to get in the way of my hand modeling career so I stopped.

I would bang my head along the foot of my parent’s bed until I found the right spot and then just bang away. This could explain things.

When I was born and placed in my mother’s arms I was covered from head to toe in red hair. My mother was horrified and told the nurse I was too ugly and to take me away. Later when the hair fell off everything was OK. What really cracks me up about this story is that I actually know it.

I carried a blue blanket with me wherever I went. I used to rub the blanket on my cheek as I sucked my thumb.

I used to love cooking shows and would bring out all of my mother’s pots and pans and watch Graham Kerr in the TV room.

When Walter Cronkite broke the news that JFK had been assassinated my mother was crying so hard that I grabbed a dish towel because I thought the Kleenex would not be sturdy enough.

I hated soda and would complain that it burned my nose. Yoo-hoo was my drink of choice.

We were only allowed one meal we would not eat. My parents were not running a restaurant after all. Mine was fish, so when we had fish for dinner my mother made something else for me. It turns out it was not the fish I hated but the tartar sauce that my parents used to try to kill the taste of the fish for me.

My mother was a room mother at Traill Green School in Easton. She was supporting a party for my sister’s third grade glass and left me with the kindergarten class while she served cupcakes. A kindergartener was sent to fetch my mother because I would not stop crying. When my mother came down to see what was wrong I told her that a bird had flown in the window and pecked me in the eye.

Every time I stuttered my second grade teacher would hit me on the back of the head with her teacher’s manual. I would come home with headaches all the time and when I finally told my parents what was happening they sprung into action. The teacher retired at the end of the school year. My parents would stop at nothing to protect their children.

Note: Traill Green (1813-1897) was the first President of the American Academy of Medicine and a chemistry professor at Lafayette College, a one cent stamp was issued in 1916 in his honor, a statue of him stands in Easton Heights Cemetery. The school named after him is now a condo on the corner 13^th and Washington Streets in Easton.

It's My Life #3 - Richmond Hotel

2011-05-07T22:38:00.002-04:00

It was 1982 the high/low point of preppy and I was the style’s poster child – I had more pastel polo shirts than Ralph Lauren, more pairs of Docksiders than a shoe store, more khakis than the Gap and countless pairs of argyle socks. It was a good thing I was 6’ 120lbs because with all the layers of shirts I would wear I would have looked like I was 300lbs.

Trust me this boy could pop a collar.

My friends decided it would be fun to take my prissy self to a country bar, The Richmond Hotel, just a little outside of Bangor. I thought I was going to a hotel bar, you know like the King Cole Bar at the St. Regis or at least the Tap Room at the Hotel B.

Not even close.

I walk into this place with 3 polo shirts on, pink, light green and baby blue, Khaki shorts, blue docksiders and reeking of Polo cologne. Everyone stopped; the place went silent except for the jukebox. My so called friends were rolling on the floor.

The Richmond Hotel is not really a hotel, it is not even a pretend hotel with fine dining, it did not have a cocktail menu, it did not have a food menu, it did have about 30 Harley’s parked in the lot.

So, I stood there for a second, my friend Sue, who was one badass chick realized that perhaps they could have warned me, came up behind me nuzzled my neck and moved me to the bar. All she said was “I’m sorry and do not order a gin and tonic or a Miller”. I ordered a draft beer and I turned two of my collars down.

I suspect I was not the first gay boy to enter the place but I was the most obvious one that evening. Apparently Dykes with Bikes were OK there as I would find out later.

I love juke boxes and often spend more money on them than the bar and since tap beers were 35 cents it was not hard to do. Everyone was waiting for Donna Summer and I gave them every Rolling Stones song available.

A few beers later I was working the crowd, registering people to vote. Did anyone ever tap their beer bottle on another beer bottle and watch the bottom bottle over flow with foam? It was my ice breaker of the evening.

Near the end of the evening this rather husky woman in a leather vest and blue jeans tapped me on the shoulder. “Wanna go for a ride before last call?”

There we were a lesbian, a skinny gay boy and a Harley riding up and down the country roads spraying the Bangor suburbs with Polo by Ralph Lauren.

I woke up on one of my friend’s floor with the worst taste in my mouth I have ever had.

It's My Life #2 - Beginning

2011-05-06T10:00:00.001-04:00

My father’s family came from Europe in the early 20^th century, today they would be considered Euro trash but back then were viewed as refugees from a crumbling Europe. I am from a long line of Counts of the old Holy Roman Empire. In researching my background it appears that they were the chief bakers for the royal court. I am trying to find out if I can lay claim to some long forgotten title.

The aging Count could see that the end was near so he packed up his precious teenage son and sent him to New York City with too much money and apparently little common sense. For awhile the Count kept tight control on the purse strings and the young man would send home long letters about student life at Columbia. In fact, the young man was really the toast of the town, leading a life the would have made Prince Egon Von Furstenberg blush. The last the young man heard from his homeland was a letter telling him his father had died in defense of the crumbling empire. Before he had died the Count ensured that all the money was safe and secured in a Swiss bank account. The young man threw a party at the Plaza and declared himself the new Count and partied for the rest of his life.

His son continued in the idle rich ways of his father and in 1959 had a son, me. My father learned pretty quickly that I was not going to be an asset. Babies with single fathers were not really babe magnets during the age of Eisenhower. It turns out my mother had no real maternal instincts and she too busy trying to shack up with William Burroughs. So they both set about trying to find a way to get rid of me. My mother found a relative of my father’s in Easton Pennsylvania of all places and within months I went from being Anton Waverly Bleeker Fladden to Donald Charles Flad, Jr.

And so this is what happened after that………

Gail Collins in The NYT Had This to Say

2011-04-28T21:32:00.003-04:00

I could not sum this week up any better than this.

Department of Good News

By GAIL COLLINS

Published: April 27, 2011

Well, I just don’t see how things can get better than this when it comes to current affairs. Prince William is about to get married and President Obama has released his long-form birth certificate.

Earl Wilson/The New York Times

Gail Collins

All we need now is for the House speaker, John Boehner, to follow through on his call for the oil companies to pay their fair share of taxes. Then, really, I think we could go into the weekend with a true feeling of closure.

Boehner, you may remember, told ABC News that big oil companies don’t need the oil depletion allowance and that Congress “certainly ought to take a look at” the tax breaks our energy mega-firms enjoy.

What a great guy John Boehner is! You may not remember, but there was a time when Democrats hatedhatedhated him. That was before the House Tea Party Republicans started giving him so much misery. Now you have Howard Dean calling him a “reasonable person” and the Senate majority leader, Harry Reid, offering to him “a bouquet.” Everyone loves a winner, except in Washington where losers are so much more attractive.

However, as soon as the Democrats started applauding the oil-company interview, a Boehner spokesman issued a clarification, which said that the House speaker “is opposed to raising taxes.” Obviously, when he said that we should look at things like the oil depletion allowance, he meant “look” in the same way that we are going to look at the royal wedding. It was not an invitation to join the buffet line.

Unlike the John Boehner Oil Tax Loophole Closing Bill, the wedding is definitely coming off, allowing the entire planet to bask in the aura of a fairy-tale moment before moving on to pregnancy rumors. And about time. The world cannot keep generating more than 100 million William/Kate-related blog postings a day for all that much longer.

I got that figure from Trendrr, which also reported that 40 percent of the English-language wedding Twitter messages originated in the United States as opposed to only 31 percent in the United Kingdom.

To which we can only respond: Well, there are a whole lot more of us. Also, as a nation, we pride ourselves on our Twittering. America intends to be the world leader in all things twit-related. Soon, there will be a ninth-grade proficiency test on it, and teachers whose classes perform badly will be fired.

Meanwhile, on behalf of all of us Yanks, let me say: Good luck, Kate and William!

Most of us have only been paying attention to you for a week or so, but, still, we have come to know you well. “Kate oozes refinement — her friends wear pearls while hunting,” Time magazine reported. That tidbit alone has kept me engrossed all day. Do you think Time meant fox hunting? A lot of bouncing around in fox hunting, and if the pearls broke I guarantee you that you would never, ever find them. Perhaps the Friends of Kate hunt ducks. Or squirrels. Nothing like a tasty squirrel stew, served to people sporting really expensive neckwear.

Estimates of the cost of the upcoming nuptials range from $34 million to more than $7 billion, depending on whether you factor in the bill for giving an entire nation a day off work. Either way, this is Kate’s special day and you cannot possibly put a price on that. Plus, there is nothing like a wedding to raise the national spirits. Who among us can ever forget the way the national psyche soared when Tricia Nixon tied the knot?

But I digress. In the other important, chapter-closing news of the moment, President Obama has released the long-form version of his birth certificate in an attempt to quell the unflaggable “birther” movement and get the news media to notice when he names a new secretary of defense.

Donald Trump immediately took credit. “Today I am very proud of myself,” he said. This is in contrast to normal days, when Trump is continually walking around in an existential funk, asking himself why he was ever born.

Our next question is how far the closure extends. Will the birthers who have been demanding to see that long-form certificate since 2008 now throw in the towel and move on to other important issues, such as whether the rapture will occur on May 21?

Emily Ramshaw of The Texas Tribune quickly tracked down the state representative who’s sponsoring the Texas version of the birther bill and found him — surprise! — unconvinced. Among other things, she reported, Representative Leo Berman wants to know why the hospital where the president was allegedly born doesn’t have a “plaque on the door” commemorating the event.

The more things close, the more they open
.

It's My Life - #1

2011-04-27T22:38:00.001-04:00

He is not really that special but people seem to be drawn to him. He has a lot of friends but is pretty much a loner. He loves to be alone and yet he is a social animal. He is really shy and awkward in social situations but everyone knows he is in the room and he often dominates small group settings.

When he was 7 years old he overcame his lisp but it was replaced with a pretty strong stutter (he blames his younger brother’s near death and a brutal second grade teacher) and yet he has stood before thousands of people to give speeches.

He tried really hard to be the best little boy in the world and yet he exhausted his parents because he was a difficult, stubborn, emotional and opinionated child.

He is scared of success and terrified of failure.

He has dreams but never really committed to chasing them.

His is well versed and knowledgeable about the bible and yet he thinks most of it is myth. He believes in the historic bible but doubts G-D had anything to do with it. He does not spell out G-D because people cannot really know the name of G-D and yet he wonders if G-D created people or leaders created G-D to control people.

He is personally very conservative and yet he is a hell cat in bed.

He is a feminist and yet he stands up when a woman enters the room, opens the car door, always walks to left in public (protects a woman from street cars), cannot sit if there is a woman standing in the room, always allows the woman to enter first by holding the door and says yes ma’am more often than a black maid in the 1940’s.

He wishes he was kept but would never be willing to give up his independence.

As much as he loves to be alone he knows that his life is made complete by his guy.

He knew he was gay in fourth grade but needed to do a lot more research so he did not hook up with another guy until he was in his early twenties.

He is awkward and clumsy when it comes to sports that involve other people or a ball but he could probably replace Joe Paterno at PSU, manage the Yankees or sit on the bench with the Duke Basketball team.

He is a blue collar boy who has spent his life running away from it. Not because he is embarrassed by it or feels any shame but blue color boys don’t enjoy drinks at the King Cole Bar and he does.

He has really bad self esteem and self confidence and yet he carries himself like he walks on water. He is his own worst critic but if someone else offers criticism he/she better be prepared to defend his/her opinion with shock and awe. When doing self evaluations at work his boss’s are always amazed how hard he is on himself and yet he has never had a bad review (through 3 companies). His humor is often self-depreciating but he does not accept others not taking him seriously.

He is intolerant of intolerance.

He can’t tell a joke to save his life but he loves to tell funny stories. He really does know only one joke and it has to do with Sarah Jessica Parker.

He holds very strong political and social views but is always willing to hear what the other side as to say and desires to seek a common ground.

He has a very strong moral center and does not accept his own failings but will look beyond others peoples long after he should have moved on or demanded change.

He can be a human punching bag but don’t wrong one of his friends. He bends and bends like a willow tree in a hurricane but G-D help you when the wind stops blowing. He has a high tolerance but when enough is enough it is enough. And, to the best his memory allows he has really only held one long term grudge. Trust me this bastard truly deserves it and not that he really did anything to him but this man hurt so many people he liked this man does not deserve forgiveness.

He does not offend easily unless of course you are stupid, ignorant, intolerant, a racist, a bigot, a homophobe or you are a man who hits a woman.

He really does not like kids/children but once offered to take a January dip in the Atlantic if his co-workers would raise $3000 in two weeks for Autism. If they raised $5000 he’d take the dip in a Speedo. The President of the company stopped this effort but to keep our guy happy he personally donated $1000 on the spot. Some of the people he admired the most at his company had Autistic sons.

He is the biggest procrastinator he knows but when focused he is like a bullet train traveling across the Japanese country side.

He is pretty much afraid of everything but he will try it anyway.

He may not remember your name, the title of a movie or what he had for dinner last night but he remembers every childhood hurt.

No does not mean no it means there has to be a way.

He is pro choice on abortion and vehemently opposed to the death penalty. Really he thinks if we just stopped killing we would be better off.

He thinks being a vegetarian is the healthiest way to live but every time he tries it he just craves a steak and he does not like beef all that much.

He has the attention span of a flea but his focus on the details is frightening.

He knows that no one is perfect but he is so frustrated by his own flaws that it sometimes paralyzes him.

So this is what I have to work with – Do you think I will have enough to write about?

It's My Life

2011-04-26T11:37:00.003-04:00

So…. I took another break. I have even stopped reading the NY Times and don’t feel compelled to devour Maureen Dowd (hopefully this will pass soon); the only reason I keep up with Joan Walsh is her Twitter feed makes it so easy.

I’m tired of defending the President, I am tired of criticizing the conservative extremists, Sarah Palin bores me, the wacko talkers need to be ignored, Donald Trump is a fool, Charlie Dent will never be a leader and I am just sick of all them. Do I still care? Yes. Will I stay engaged in the world around me? Yes. Will I continue to speak out when the truth needs to be told? Yes.

I take my hat off to Jon of Lehigh Valley Independent – he is thoughtful, cutting edge and writes about the big and little issues that we should all be thinking about. I salute Bernie O’Hare of Lehigh Valley Ramblings – his coverage of local issues and the local movers and shakers is often better than the mainstream media. Yes, Bernie is a wack job and I question his choice of politicians to support but he has his pulse on what is going on in the Lehigh Valley. George of Lehigh Valley With Love writes about the silly underside of the area. He tells the stories that are often missed and it never ceases to amaze me how many loons really live here in the conservative Lehigh Valley. George is also one of the best writers I have ever read and I am often left in tears from laughing by the time I am done reading George’s insightful reporting. These guys write everyday and everyday they are interesting, I don’t know how they do it, and all I know is that I can’t.

There are so many folks worth reading both locally and nationally – Please check them out on my side bar.

So what is going to happen with my little piece of the interwebs? I still want to write, I still like to write but what am I going to write about? Me. I can think of nothing more interesting for my readers than me.

Palimpsest – according to Merriam-Webster’s

1 technical: a very old document on which the original writing has been erased and replaced with new writing
2 formal: something that has changed over time and shows evidence of that change

When he finally sat down to write his memories Gore Vidal called them his Palimpsest because what he was writing was what he remembered. Others may have a different remembrance of the same event but the only memories that matter were the author’s.

I going to tell my story; it will be what I remember the way I remember it. I will exaggerate some of the details and I will downplay others. I will condense multiple people into one in order to move the story along and some of it may be wholly made up just to keep things interesting, even when the fiction dominates the facts there will be some truths in the fiction or maybe it is something that I wanted to happen or dreamed about or wished for. I will try to note when mystical thinking takes over for the facts. I will try very hard not to hurt anyone’s feelings, especially my families. I will not be writing in chronological order but I will write the stories as I remember them. Current events often inspire a memory so I am just going to go with the flow.

I Will See You On Monday!

2011-04-05T11:32:00.005-04:00

Live United: Greater Lehigh Valley United Way

United Way of the Greater L

Allentown Explosion Family Fund Benefit

Monday, April 11

7-9PM

Starfish Brasserie

51 West Broad St, Bethlehem, 18018

Professional musicians, singers and dancers from throughout the Lehigh Valley will entertain.

Guest Bartenders: Donald Flad Jr & a couple of other guys

$15 Donation includes tasty hors D’ oeuvres

A Tricky Tray will be held

Bins to collect non-perishable food items for Second Harvest

Easton

2011-03-08T22:31:00.002-05:00

I am not sure the exact year or the exact bar but sometime in the mid 80’s I was having a few beers at a bar on the South Side of Bethlehem with a neighbor and there were a few hearty Lehigh Students braving an evening in this bar dominated by townies. Being the sociable type I engaged the students in some conversation and banter. One of the students asked where I grew up and I said Easton. “Whoa, that’s a pretty rough place, how tough was it growing up there?” I asked the guy where he grew up and he responded “The Bronx”.

This child grew up in The Bronx, New York City and he was impressed and intimidated by my youth spent in Easton, Pa. What a strange world and what a horrid reputation the City that made me the man I am today had. Such a shame.

I have lived in Bethlehem for the last 28 years and I could not be more proud of my fair city. Bethlehem is a city that keeps moving forward while still respecting all the history brought us to this point. But, a large chunk of my heart will always belong to Easton and one of the joys of my life is watching the re-birth of this really great little city. I may have moved out of Easton but Easton will never leave me. I still get my shirts custom made to account for the Easton chip on my shoulder.

The leaders of Easton have tried everything and followed every urban trend. They destroyed entire neighborhoods in the name of urban renewal. A concept I never quite understood. You have to tear down a community in order to renew it. It makes no sense and thankfully it is now a discredited policy.

They built projects to provide low income housing. It turned out they became dumping grounds for the disenfranchised. Putting all the poverty into one section of town does not really build a community it just separates us.

They sold homes in depressed areas for $1 but forgot to require the new owners live in the homes. Absentee landlords are not as engaged in the well being of a community as are resident home owners. Easton now uses an imaginative program where the city takes over blighted homes and refurbishes them. The city will then sell the homes for the cost of the rehabilitation, the new owners are not only required to live in the home they are required to keep it a single home.

Little Easton, is only 4.5 square miles in size but it is Dallas size in chutzpah and the will to succeed; it never gives up.

When US News & World Report called it a “Seedy Little Industrial Town” it embraced its blue collar down home World Champion Larry Holmes. When its beautiful downtown was full of empty store fronts it embraced the Main Street program, which has been recognized as the finest Main Street program in the Commonwealth. When its population was declining it embraced its diversity, it welcomed the New Yorkers, the gays and the artists.

Easton is on the verge of becoming a college town, Lafayette College is an active stakeholder in the future of Easton. While Lehigh University takes baby steps into the community but seems hesitant about it, Muhlenberg continues to shutter itself away and Moravian stays in the warm embrace of history. The City of Easton called on the Lafayette to become the Leopards of Easton not just the Lafayette Leopards in Easton and in the process the college on the hill has become the hometown school. My Dad and I attend most home football and basketball games and there are often more townies in attendance than students or staff. When I was a teenager and perfecting the fine art of sneaking into Lafayette games this was not the case.

It appears that every few years there is a 100 year flood. So what does Easton do? Host flood watching parties during the flood and then digs in and cleans up.

My old friend Sal Panto is clearly the right Mayor for these times; he is serious and focused on setting Easton up for its future. He is also one hell of cheerleader. You should see him at the basketball games; you would never know he is a Lehigh Alumnus. Easton also has a significant booster in its State Rep. Bob Freeman or as Mayor Panto “Easton’s ATM Machine”. Bob’s seniority and influence is a significant asset in ensuring the city receives it fair share of program funding.

Easton has always been the little city that could and today, Easton is the little city that can.

Help Your Small Business / Look After Your Health

2011-03-02T20:56:00.003-05:00

Two Events to Consider Attending

What:

The Small Business Administration Town Hall Event;

Why:

Regulation & Compliance: What is impacting your business?

Are regulations negatively affecting your business?

Are they keeping you from growing and expanding?

If so please come to this FREE event!

Learn about the SBA's Office of Advocacy and talk about what's affecting your business.

When:

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

9:00 AM

Where:

Hampton Inn Easton - Route 248 just East of Route 33

Go here for details: http://bit.ly/e4O4Ns

This event is free and open to everyone not just Chamber Members.

Event Sponsors:

Whitehall Chamber of Commerce, Nazareth Area Chamber of Commerce, Slate Belt Chamber of Commerce, Hampton Inn & Sam's Club.

What:

Health & Wellness Expo

Why:

Learn about health & well being services offered by local businesses

Some of the free services offered:

Blood pressure, Glucose & Cholesterol Screenings

Oral Cancer Screenings

Body Fat Analysis

Aroma readings

Spinal Screenings

Hand Salt Scrub

Chair Massage

& many more

When:

March 29, 2011- 3:00 - 7:00 PM

Where:

Nazareth Moravian Church - 4 South Main Street, Nazareth, PA

Go here for details; http://bit.ly/gNCNTh or call 610-365-8996

Event Sponsor: The Nazareth Area Chamber Natural Health & Wellness Committee

Progress On Marriage

2011-02-23T20:58:00.002-05:00

“After careful consideration, including a review of my recommendation, the President has concluded that given a number of factors, including a documented history of discrimination, classifications based on sexual orientation should be subject to a more heightened standard of scrutiny.

The President has also concluded that Section 3 of DOMA, as applied to legally married same-sex couples, fails to meet that standard and is therefore unconstitutional. Given that conclusion, the President has instructed the Department not to defend the statute in such cases. I fully concur with the President’s determination.”

With these words our nation’s Attorney General, Eric Holder announced that President Obama and his Justice Department had come to the conclusion that Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act does not meet constitutional requirement and this government will not defend it in court.

Section 3 is the section that defines the terms “marriage” and “spouse” and which says that legal marriage is only possible between opposite sexes.

This is not insignificant reversal of course for the administration. Late last year the President admitted that he was struggling with the issue of Gay Marriage and he understood the argument in favor of it but he also understood that the nation may need more time. I find it hard to believe that someone as sophisticated in his thinking as Barack Obama is actually struggling with gay marriage. There is no doubt however that he is struggling with the politics and the political logistics for doing the right thing. I don’t have any insider information so that is just so minor pop psychology on my part.

Meanwhile a spokesman for House Speaker John Boehner had this to say.

“While Americans want Washington to focus on creating jobs and cutting spending, the President will have to explain why he thinks now is the appropriate time to stir up a controversial issue that sharply divides the nation."

The Speaker’s mouthpiece did not say when he thought an appropriate time would be to grant full rights to all of this nation’s citizens. Please note that the GOP leadership has yet to introduce one piece of legislation that will create jobs so for him to throw that phony issue at the President is disingenuous at best and yet it is typical of the Republican Leadership for the last 26 months.

Should I be hopeful that one day soon my guy will be able to make and honest man of me? We have spent the last 28 years waiting together; I suppose we can wait a tad longer. But, not too much longer, my slow burn is beginning to gather some heat.

My Skills Have Failed Me

2011-02-15T21:39:00.002-05:00

I like to think that I speak politician pretty well and that I have mad skills at deciphering punditry.

For example;

When Sen. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell claims to understand what the American people want; I know that what he really means is this is what his pollsters have told him to say or what the lobbyist cohorts of his wife want him to say.

When House Speaker John Boehner talks about being serious in dealing with the federal deficit; I know that he only cares about it when there is a Democrat in the White House, because his record shows no such seriousness anytime during his career.

When Associate Supreme Justice Clarence Thomas speaks during oral arguments I know that…..Now wait! he has not spoken in 5 terms. Well then, I know that his mind is made up and nothing anyone says is going to change his mind.

When Donald Trump speaks about how awful China is; I know that he has been unable to break into the Chinese market or he has not been able to obtain a significant amount of Chinese investors.

But, I need some help deciphering the below statement. I really cannot figure out what her point is.

“And nobody yet has, nobody yet has explained to the American public what they know, and surely they know more than the rest of us know who it is who will be taking the place of Mubarak and no, not, not real enthused about what it is that that’s being done on a national level and from DC in regards to understanding all the situation there in Egypt. And, in these areas that are so volatile right now, because obviously it’s not just Egypt but the other countries too where we are seeing uprisings, we know that now more than ever, we need strength and sound mind there in the White House. We need to know what it is that America stands for so we know who it is that America will stand with. And, we do not have all that information yet.”

Sarah Palin

Still Waiting For Leadership

2011-02-11T22:01:00.005-05:00

If anyone sees Congressman Charlie Dent will you please ask him when he is going to introduce a piece of legislation that will create jobs. He told us in the last election that job creation was his priority.

When will Charlie Dent lead?

Leading Republicans Criticize The President

2011-02-09T22:49:00.002-05:00

I am not one who subscribes to the belief that a President cannot be criticized during a time crisis but Republicans do or they believed it during the Bush administration. It appears they do not believe it when there is a Democrat in the White House or at least some of their superstars don’t. To be fair most of the congressional leadership has stood with the President as our nation finds the best way to respond, assist, and manage the current turmoil in North Africa and the Middle East.

Sarah Palin has used her vast knowledge of world affairs, her extensive experience on the global stage and her years of studying the history of the region to form her well thought out criticism of the President’s handling of the events. Well, actually all she knows is that if the President says something she is supposed to criticize him. She does this in deep and thought provoking Tweets and Facebook postings and in responses to the hard hitting questions from her fellow employees of Rupert Murdoch and Roger Ailes. I think Sister Sarah is about to hit the wall with the American people. She looked really bad in the days and weeks after the Tucson shootings and made herself look uniformed with her response to what is happening in Egypt. Pity.

TV superstar Glenn Beck has completely gone off the rails. He now admits that President Obama may be a Christian albeit an odd version of a Christian (this from a man who converted to the Mormon version of Christianity as an adult). Beck also claims that the President is an Islamist sympathizer and is working with both President Bush’s and others on the left to form a Caliphate that will allow Islam world domination. How much do you think Liberals like me have in common with the radical Islamsts let alone George W. Bush? Mr. Beck’s eccentric behavior as of late is a direct result of the fact that fewer and fewer people are buying into his way of thinking, his ratings are dropping and he is clearly desperate for attention. I fully expect Glenn Beck to use the ancient art of Self Immolation as a last gasp attempt to get/keep everyone’s attention.

Failed TV star but radio superstar Rush Limbaugh or as I like to call him The Drug Addicted, Oft Married Radio Top Talker is another one of the GOP leaders willing to ignore the fact that he questioned the patriotism of any Democrat or Liberal who criticized George Bush in Iraq or Afghanistan. I truly believe that Rush just says stuff to keep his ratings up. Above all else Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. Though even Rush has gone a bit to the extreme lately but he’s Rush so whatever.

Sean Hannity is an even lighter weight than Sarah Palin, she at least entered the arena and ran for office and tried her hand at public service. Sean has done nothing but spout predictable opinions. Whenever I watch or listen to Sean Hannity I know exactly what he is going to say before he even says it.

Newt Gingrich is a very smart man and his opinions were often very well thought out and based on the history and or facts as he understood them. Note, I said were. Since Barack Obama was elected President he has become increasingly shrill and he seems to be in an intellectual footrace with Anne Coulter to say the most ridiculous and outrageous thing in order to get higher speakers fees and sell more books. Seeing this new Newt actually makes me a little sad, I mean he was Speaker of the House. Maybe a personal life led in hypocrisy has had an impact on his ability to think clearly.

Michelle Bachman………. I just can’t go there, sorry.

If Hillary Clinton, Bill Richardson or Joe Biden were President I wonder if these leaders of the intellectual wing of the Republican Party would be as critical.

Not A Leader

2011-01-31T22:27:00.005-05:00

In an interview after last week’s State of The Union address our Congressman said he did not think the spending freeze the President called for went far enough in cutting spending. Yet Congressman Dent never offered an alternative. Clearly it is easy for Mr. Dent to criticize but it appears it is difficult for Mr. Dent to lead. A leader, man worthy of election to high office should do more than criticize he should offer alternatives and Charlie Dent has chosen to continue do what he has done his entire career. Play it safe and offer little platitudes to the various constituencies that have kept him in office.

What would you cut Mr. Dent? And please be specific. If you say waste and fraud we will all know that you are not a serious thinker and will never really be a leader.

What programs will you cut? Would the cuts come from education? Would they come from senior citizens programs? Would you touch defense spending? Should medical care be cut back for our returning troops? Would you cut NPR? How will Medicare be affected by your suggestions? Should funding be slashed to medical research projects? Would you cut funding to farmers and after school programs? Should we not spend money to rebuild our crumbling infrastructure?

Mr. Dent only has one vote among the 535 members of House and Senate which is very comfortable for him; he can hide behind everyone else.

The time has come after a very long career as a legislator for Charlie Dent to show some leadership skills.

I have a few books sitting around the house on the topic of leadership and I am more than happy to share them with our Congressman.

State Of The Union

2011-01-25T19:56:00.003-05:00

Coming next - The State of the Union address by President Obama. I suspect I will have a few things to say about the President's address to the nation, the official Republican response and the unofficial Republican response given by the wackiest of them all; GOP Congresswoman Michelle Bachman of Minnesota. Her speech ought be roll on the floor side splitting funny.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Bono Remembers Sargent Shriver

2011-01-20T20:13:00.003-05:00

OP-ED GUEST COLUMNIST
What I Learned From Sargent Shriver
By BONO
Published: January 19, 2011

¶The Irish are still mesmerized by the mythical place that is America, but in the ’60s our fascination got out of hand. I was not old enough to remember the sacrifices of the great generation who saved Europe in the Second World War, or to quite comprehend what was going on in Vietnam. But what I do remember, and cannot forget, is watching a man walk on the moon in 1969 and thinking here is a nation that finds joy in the impossible.
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Justin Gabbard

Deirdre O'Callaghan
Bono
¶The Irish saw the Kennedys as our own royal family out on loan to America. A million of them turned out on J.F.K.’s homecoming to see these patrician public servants who, despite their station, had no patience for the status quo. (They also loved that the Kennedys looked more WASP than any “Prod,” our familiar term for Protestant.)
¶I remember Bobby’s rolled-up sleeves, Jack’s jutted jaw and the message — a call to action — that the world didn’t have to be the way it was. Science and faith had found a perfect rhyme.
¶In the background, but hardly in the shadows, was Robert Sargent Shriver. A diamond intelligence, too bright to keep in the darkness. He was not Robert or Bob, he was Sarge, and for all the love in him, he knew that love was a tough word. Easy to say, tough to see it through. Love, yes, and peace, too, in no small measure; this was the ’60s but you wouldn’t know it just by looking at him. No long hair in the Shriver house, or rock ’n’ roll. He and his beautiful bride, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, would go to Mass every day — as much an act of rebellion against brutal modernity as it was an act of worship. Love, yes, but love as a brave act, a bold act, requiring toughness and sacrifice.
¶His faith demanded action, from him, from all of us. For the Word to become flesh, we had to become the eyes, the ears, the hands of a just God. Injustice could, in the words of the old spiritual, “Be Overcome.” Robert Sargent sang, “Make me a channel of your peace,” and became the song.
¶Make me a channel of your peace:
¶Where there is hatred let me bring your love.
¶Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord,
¶And where there’s doubt, true faith in you.
¶Oh, Master grant that I may never seek,
¶So much to be consoled as to console.
¶To be understood as to understand,
¶To be loved as to love with all my soul.
¶Make me a channel of your peace,
¶Where there’s despair in life, let me bring hope.
¶Where there is darkness, only light,
¶And where there’s sadness, ever joy.
¶The Peace Corps was Jack Kennedy’s creation but embodied Sargent Shriver’s spirit. Lyndon Johnson declared war on poverty but Sarge led the charge. These, and the Special Olympics, were as dramatic an incarnation of the ideas at the heart of America as the space program.
¶Robert Sargent Shriver changed the world more than a few times and, I am happy to say, changed my world forever. In the late ’90s, when the Jubilee 2000 campaign — which aimed to cancel the debts that the poorest nations owed to the richest — asked me to help in the United States, I called on the Shriver clan for help and advice. What I got were those things in spades, and a call to arms like a thump in the back.
¶In the years since, Bobby Shriver — Sarge’s oldest son — and I co-founded three fighting units in the war against global poverty: DATA, ONE and (RED). We may not yet know what it will take to finish the fight and silence suffering in our time, but we are flat out trying to live up to Sarge’s drill.
¶I have beautiful memories of Bobby and me sitting with his father and mother at the Shrivers’ kitchen table — the same team that gazed over J.F.K.’s shoulder — looking over our paltry attempts at speechifying, prodding and pushing us toward comprehensibility and credibility, a challenge when your son starts hanging round with a bleeding-heart Irish rock star.
¶Toward the end, when I visited Sarge as a frailer man, I was astonished by his good spirits and good humor. He had the room around him laughing out loud. I thought it a fitting final victory in a life that embodied service and transcended, so often, grave duty, that he had a certain weightlessness about him. Even then, his job nearly done, his light shone undiminished, and brightened us all.
¶Bono, the lead singer of the band U2 and a co-founder of the advocacy group ONE and (Product)RED, is a contributing columnist for The Times.

Remembering Sargent Shriver

2011-01-19T00:04:00.004-05:00

One of the hard parts about reaching and then surpassing the middle age mark is watching the people who you admired the people who were your heroes and role models pass. These were the men and women who you looked up to, the people you wanted to be like when you grew up.

When Teddy Kennedy died I wrote a series of posts about what he meant to me. Teddy spoke to my heart, Teddy inspired me and made me want to be a Democrat, and Teddy gave me the confidence to be a Liberal. Teddy and his brothers received all the attention and the passion but there was another who did much of the work and did more to move this nation forward than almost any man of his time. That man was Robert Sargent Shriver. The Kennedy men were passionate spokesman for the vision Sarge Shriver made it happen. The Kennedy’s spoke about change, Sargent Shriver was the change. With his death the only connection we have to that glamorous and golden era are Jean, the last sibling and Eunice the last in-law.

Sargent Shriver was a founding member of America First, a controversial organization dedicated to keeping the United States out of the war raging in Europe but he felt a duty to his country and volunteered for naval service even before the bombs were dropped on Pearl Harbor. Nation and honor came first to men like Sargent Shriver. A few years ago his daughter Maria testified before congress that even though her father was often lost to Alzheimer’s he attended Catholic mass every day and still recited the rosary and yet he did not know who she was, another example of the character of this man, his faith was one of the guiding principles to his life well led and to his life of good works.

After the war he went to work for Joseph P. Kennedy and ran the Chicago operations for the family and after a seven year courtship he married probably the toughest and strongest Kennedy of them all Eunice. JFK often said that if Eunice had been a man she would have been the one elected President not him.

During the presidential primaries of 1960 Shriver was assigned the two toughest states for Kennedy to run in, states where Kennedy being a Catholic was a negative but two states that JFK had to win in order to get the nomination. JFK won both West Virginia and Wisconsin and thus the nomination.

President Kennedy knew that if America was truly going to be a super power and truly lead the world into the post war era it needed to improve its image around the world and it needed to reach the hearts and minds of the people of the world. The President turned to Sarge Shriver to create and run the Peace Corp. Along with a young aide, Pennsylvania’s future Senator Harris Wofford, Sargent Shrive created one the most successful foreign policy tools in this nations arsenal and one that is as effective today as it was 49 years ago. I think the Peace Corp has been over looked by the Nobel Committee because it is a government funded organization. If the Peace Corp is all Sargent Shriver is remembered for that would be quite a lot.

After JFK’s assassination President Johnson asked Mr. Shriver to stay on with the Peace Corp and appointed him to a position of Special Assistant (they are referred to as Czars now). In this new role Shriver created the Office of Economic Opportunity and from that position he led Johnson’s “War on Poverty”. He created Head Start, Vista, Job Corp and Community Action.

Outside of government he created Upward Bond, Foster Grandparents, The Special Olympics, Legal Services, and The National Clearing House for Legal Services, Indian and Migrant Opportunities and Neighborhood Health Services.

As a reward for his efforts and hard work President Johnson appointed Mr. Shriver Ambassador to France. In 1968 that positions was much more important and critical than it is today. The French were smitten immediately by this dashing new diplomat and his very bright and very Kennedy wife. After a brilliant and at times tumultuous and heartbreaking 10 years of service to his country an exhausted Sargent Shriver decided to return to private life in 1970.

His time out of the spot light lasted a little less than 2 years. In 1972 the Democratic Party was in trouble. Its convention was fractious, its nominee was weak and its VP nominee admitted to the most horrible thing of all; he had undergone psychiatric treatment for anxiety and depression. After party standard bearer Sen. George McGovern decided he needed to replace his running mate he turned to Sargent Shriver in the hopes he could bring some of the Kennedy charm and gravitas to the ticket. Mr. Shiver was touring the Soviet Union at the time and had to make an emergency flight back to Washington D.C. in order to make the press conference. By all accounts he was an excellent candidate and served the cause of his party well. In 1976 Sarge made a short lived run for the nomination himself. After that Sargent Shriver left active politics except to support members of his family including his Republican son-in-law Arnold Schwarzenegger.

He became a partner in a law firm specializing in foreign affairs and international law, served on the board of Rockefeller University, was elected President of Special Olympics and then Chairman of the Board and an investor in Baltimore Orioles.

That is quite a life.

One of the last public appearances Sargent Shriver made was at the funeral of his beloved Eunice. I will never forget the imagine of this great and noble man who was now so frail and so confused clutching on to the arm of his son-in-law Arnold and waving a sad and urgent goodbye to the hearse that was carrying the body of his wife. Even through the haze of this vile disease he knew he had to say goodbye to Eunice and the only way he could do it was to wave he knew he was saying goodbye to her for the last time. It was one of the most heartbreaking and touching things I have ever witnessed.

Sargent Shriver was a member of the “greatest generation” and one of “the best and the brightest” he was a patriot, a statesman, a liberal, a pragmatists, a loyalists, an activist, a member of the establishment, a reformer, a technocrat, a visionary, a Kennedy and he was his own man. I don’t know if we will ever see another man like Sargent Shriver again. His family is as old as this country his ancestor signed the Maryland Constitution and Bill of Rights in 1776. He was a product of a boarding school education and graduated from Yale and Yale Law School. He could have easily settled into a life at an elite law firm but thankfully he did not.

Are there men or women like Sargent Shriver with us today? I suspect there is not, I hope there are.