Saturday, March 9, 2013

Part Two: Gay Jokes are funny!

Some don't get the point of my last post or think that I was in some way offended personally or had my feelings hurt let me clear some things up. (Note: Responses were not made as comments here but to me personally via other forums)

I do not offend easily and my feeling don't get hurt on a regular basis.  I am old enough and overcame my childhood of being bullied to develop a pretty thick skin.

I can find humor in just about anything - read my twitter feed - very little is sacred.

 This isn't about me it is about the impact of mocking Gay people, it is about causing hurt and damage to a portion of our community.

John Kennedy spoke about "A rising tide lifts all boats".  Gay slurs; especially those told by non gay people under the pretext of humor do just the opposite of the rising tide; they diminishes the entire community.

Making a fudge packer joke doesn't make you witty, clever or terribly funny; it makes you a bigot and a bully.

Double standard alert:  I can make a fudge packer joke - I'm allowed to because well I am or have ... err um - well never mind that. I'm gay so I can.  But, I choose not too.

It has been reported that 71.3% of LGBT students hear a gay slur on a regular if not daily basis. Words are important, words have an impact and words can lift us up or words can bring us down.

Calling something GAY that you think is stupid or lame is very hurtful to the esteem of those people still coming to terms with their true self and it empowers those people who seek to hurt and suppress those very same people.

I think I have beaten this should be dead horse enough.

There is another reason I was provoked to come out of my self imposed blog silence.

Jobs!  yes Jobs.

An entrepreneur, a small business person, a person who has offered up his/her energy, ideas and personal fortune to open a business that will create jobs is being mocked and his/her personal commitment to our community and to our economy is being diminished by the mocking and the slurs.

The person opening this establishment is going to hire electricians, carpenters, plumbers, craft people and general laborers before the business opens.  He/she is going to hire servers cooks, bar staff, cleaning crew, marketing people and of course security people.  His/her efforts should be encouraged and embraced and not mocked.  (The comment on the my previous post defending the blog post I referenced conveniently neglects to mention the writers demeaning suggestions for the name of the new establishment.)

The last time I was at the Stonewall (the most prominent of local gay bars) there were at least 2 uniformed police officers stationed outside the club, they were there to protect the patrons from the very same people who think using gay slurs is acceptable or those people who are emboldened by the people think nothing of using gay slurs.  The  salary for these police is paid for by the owners of the bar.  Money that could have been spent on other things inside the business.  Money diverted from improvements or enhancements, but the owners needed to protect the entrance of the building.   As we left and once we crossed the street we were on our own and as we turned the corner to the parking lot we were sounded by young people all calling us names and asking us disgusting questions.  They used many of the same slurs used in the blog post I mentioned last time and by the comments to that blog.

The owner of this new establishment is going to have to cut costs elsewhere in order to afford enhanced live security and a security system that will have to cover a wider range of issues than if he/she was opening a seafood house.

A new business in this economy should be welcomed it should not be mocked and called hateful and hurtful names.  Words matter.


  1. Some lessons have to be presented multiple times. It takes so much patience to wait for people to understand. Some get it before others - but please have faith that most will eventually.

    And for those who never will understand.... I pray that no physical harm grows from hateful words.

    1. Thanks Silagh - Not sure what it will take to get through to people.

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