Friday, October 8, 2010

I Said She

In a previous life I spent a lot of time on the road for work. It was my habit to go to the hotel pool at the end of the day and swim about an hour’s worth of laps before dinner. During one of my trips to Houston the hotel had a complimentary cook out once a week. It was a BYOB affair. Somehow I missed this announcement. When I went down for my swim I found the pool area full of good ole boys drinking beer and eating BBQ. I really needed those laps so I just dove in. As I was getting out of the pool and heading back to my room a group of the guys invited me to join them for dinner around the pool. They had more than enough beer and bourbon.

During the evening they pointed out how skinny I was, they noticed my really expensive/interesting hair cut, they asked why I read Vanity Fair (I brought it to the pool to read while I dried off), they commented on my board shorts and the fact that I ate my BBQ with a knife and fork. But, they thought I was really funny even though I spoke too fast, was too much of Democrat and a few of them were surprised I was not Jewish.

About three hours later I am sitting in the hot tub, smoking a cigar and talking about life on the road with some of these good old boys. One of them asked me how my little woman was able to put up with this time apart and how or if I was able to keep faithful.

I said that she is just great and understands that this is what I have to do and that the faithful part is not difficult because when I get home it is all worth it.

Yes, I said she.

Why did I do that?


  1. Good Morning! Im curious as to why you said "she" also......Why DID you say that?...Please dont disappoint me with the response....

  2. i'm curious as well, Don...

  3. Because you were out numbered by drunk people you didn't know well enough to know how they would react.

  4. Thanks to all for commenting.

    I think I said she because it was safe and easier. Perhaps I was afraid of rejection, perhaps I was just not up for a confrontation.

    The sad thing is that I felt compelled to deny my true self because of my surroundings or I did not allow myself to trust these guys and just assumed they were unenlightened red necks. I assumed the worst of these men and out of self protection I said she.

    I don't know what would have happened if I had shown the a picture of my Guy but experience and my view of the culture of my surroundings I chose the safe route and thus ended up not being true to myself.

    Having said that; I am not sure I want to be a professional Teaching Moment.

  5. I just read this. I was going to say "because your answer easier." I'm really sorry that the world still isn't a safe enough place for you to be honest with who you are. Much love to you for your bravery in sharing this experience.

  6. Thanks Biff
    I have a pretty good life but reality sometimes causes me to pause. I suspect the hot tub would have become really quiet and I would have been shunned for the rest of the week. But it could be worse.