My President........

In 1980 there was no one who campaigned harder for the re-election of President Jimmy Carter.  I went to DC for the summer and then to the convention on my own dime to support him.  His re-election was the only thing that mattered to me and I thought if he was not re-elected the nation would fail.  President Carter was our President, the President and he was my President.

President Carter lost

I opposed everything President Ronald Reagan stood for and opposed every one of his proposals but he was elected President and therefore he was our President and I always referred to him as The President and always called him President Reagan.

I campaigned my ass off for Walter Mondale in 1984 - He lost - President Ronald Reagan remained our President and Nancy remained our First Lady.

1988 - I supported Dukakis and Poppy Bush won - During his presidency I referred to George Herbert Walker Bush as our President, the President and President Bush.

1992 - A candidate I voted for becomes President so of course I referred to William Jefferson Clinton as our President, the President, President Clinton and My President.

Eight years later a man wins the presidency but not the popular vote.   He won because he won the Electoral College

None the less I referred to George W. Bush as President Bush, our President and the President.

Our, My, The President Barack Obama was elected in 2008.

So, given this history it would seem to be logical that I will refer to Donald Trump as our President, the President and President Trump.

I can't

And, I am bothered by this

But, I just can't

It is not because he lost the popular vote by 3 million votes (GWB lost it by less then 300, 000)
It is not because he is shallow
It is not because he is thin skinned
It is not because he is petty
It is not because he has small hands
It is not because I am opposed to everything he stands for
It is not because he is vulgar
It is not because he is violating the Constitution by gaining wealth from foreign governments

It is because he mocked a man with a physical disability, his clear history of disrespect for women
and because he led the birther movement. 

The birther movement sought to discredit and nullify the first non-white President. A black man was elected President and Donald Trump spent eight (8) years leading a movement to call this man a foreigner and an illegal President.  It was the darkest and most vile movement in American politics since the Joe McCarthy era.

My not supporting Donald Trump does not mean I want this nation to fail and it does not mean I do not love this great republic. 

I have clearly been respectful of President I thought were wrong on every issues. But, they were not racists who attempted to deny a citizen his right to the Presidency

Trump is the legally elected President of the United States so he is this country's President

I will never refer to him as the President
I will never refer to him as President Trump
I will never refer to him as our President

And, he will never ever be my President.......... A vulgar racist will never be my President


++++ NOTE:
Barack Obama won with far more popular votes and electoral votes then Donald Trump and attendance at his inaugural was bigger - much much bigger as are his hands

Gay Bars

Gay bars are where we go to be in the majority.
Gay bars are where we go to be ourselves.
Gay bars are where we go to be someone else.
Gay bars are where we go to feel comfortable.
Gay bars are we we go to be with people who understand us fully.
Gay bars are where we go to hook up.
Gay bars are where we go to feel free.
Gay bars are where we go for empathy and support.
Gay bars are where we go to feel safe.

Until last night.

There are those who are critical of the bar culture in the LGBT community but the first time I walked into a gay bar I felt accepted, I no longer felt alone and I knew I had a home and a safe place and people would support me and they would understand me.

Until last night.

The people who went to Pulse last night were children, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, fathers, mothers, co-workers, Democrats, Republicans and people who don't give a shit about politics. 

The people who went to Pulse last night went to have fun, went to celebrate, went to let loose, to dance, to sing and to look for Mr or Ms Right.

They did not go there to die.

But, 50 of them did.

I am gutted I am heartbroken and I am angry.  But, I don't know what I can do about it. 

Maybe I am

A snob or an elitist

Another local blogger once said that I was the leader of the Snob voters of Bethlehem.  I don't fully remember the context of what he why he thought calling me that was an insult but I think it was because I had high expectations for candidates and office holders.  Or, I only support people who want to do what is best or it's just because I just want my candidates to run campaigns that don't rely on the low road or dumbing down things to attract votes.  Or, it was because I supported candidates he did not.

Tonight a person commented that I should rename this blog "The Neo Petite Bourgeoisie" she did not explain why so I have no idea what she was thinking when she posted it.

Perhaps I am a snob. I guess it depends on ones definition of what a snob is.  So, really whatever.

If someone wants to call me a snob but does not have the guts  to tell me why or even tell me who she really is I can't worry about it.

Not that I would anyway.

More snob opinions to come

dcf

About Me: 30 Years

Just after a pretty sad Christmas I decided to make a change. 

I needed leave... I was going to finish college and then move to DC and never look back except for holidays.

I gave my employers 7 months notice and I turned down the Mondale campaign which offered me a job to go to New Hampshire to organize for them.  

I was sticking to my plans - work for 7 months and save so I could take out smaller loans and pay off credit cards.  I was going to get my BA/BS and move away.

During a dinner break I was walking through the mall with the reasons for my sad Christmas - We were trying to stay friends and as we walked past the quirky card and gift shop I noticed someone. I said I am going in and look around and I would catch up with them (yes, not only did one break my heart with the other but we were once pals and we all worked together) in a few minutes.

He was fine, built like a G-d and a butt (in leather pants).  I never had a "Type" I had dated (slept with) pretty much every type of guy but I had yet to check a black guy off my must do list.  

So I went in and was determined to find out right away if he was playing for my team.  I asked about a brand of greeting cards that if he knew about them would let me know.  He knew.  I walked around a bit trying to give him a good look at my assets. I think I bought some birthday cards and moved on.  Caught up to the heart breakers.  On the way back to work I looked in to the card shop and he saw me and smiled.

Now what do I do?

Two day later I went to the local gay dance club as I often did on a Thursday night and after walking around for awhile I saw him...and it looked like he was with somebody or was he - it was hard to tell.  He saw me and smiled so I walked over to him and asked him if he was with that guy and he said no.

So I asked him to dance and we did for quite awhile.  I asked again if he and his little pal were together because they were clearly intimate but he assured me that they were not together anymore.

I stood there - looked at him - looked at the guy - looked back at him and said "Good cuz you are taking me home with you tonight".  

I am a firm believer in having sex as soon as possible.  Why continue a relationship if you do not click in bed or on the couch or on the kitchen floor or in the back of the car or well you get it.  

If the sex is bad then why bother .

He asked me out on a date.  Then the next day he called to postpone the date.  

Of course he would.  

He really was still with that guy.  

But, his voice his voice was golden. 

 He said he did not feel well so instead of going to dinner and movie on Friday could we go on Saturday.

I met him at his apartment and we went out to dinner and saw a showing of Vertigo.  At the end of the movie he asked if I wanted to go dancing.  So we did.  As we walked around the place all of the sudden I grabbed his hand and we walked around holding hands. And, except when we were dancing we held hands all night.

He drove back to his place and he did not even ask if I was coming in it was just assumed I would.  

I did.

And,  I never left.

That Saturday night was 2/11/84 - These 30 years have really just flown by - sometimes it feels like just a few years ago.

It took a little bit of time (though not a lot)  before one of us said "I love you."  I said it first but telling that story will have to come with a NSFW warning

I did go back to school and got my degree- he came and rescued me every other weekend.

But, instead of going to DC - I came home to be with him. 

Eminem, Rihanna and Me

I am not sure who figured out that Rihanna and Eminem  are hit music gold?


I am glad he or she did.

The divine Rihanna is in great form here and she summarizes his struggles very nicely with her vocal hook.


Eminem has always been different than other rappers.... it is not all about his dick.

Granted, sometimes it is about killing his ex wife.

I am not condoning that nor his use of faggot so please do not go there with me.

This single is about his emotional struggles and about him sometimes questioning his sanity.

And, you can dance to it.

...............

I have reached a "pax monstera" with the monsters under my bed and I have embraced the voices in my head.....I just wish they would not try to speak all at once.

.

Coming Out - Still not easy

In this youtube video a young man comes out to his mother and he was very awkward and very nervous , in fact his mother did most of the talking.

When a friend of my father was struggling with his own son's coming out my dad said to him "Either you love your son or you don't - I know you do and you know you do - so get over it - bottom line still your son - nothing has changed"

I have blogged that story and my own coming out story awhile ago and I am certainly not going to bore you with that old chestnut. Not every coming out is as easy as mine was almost 35 years ago and I have allowed myself to believe that because times have changed coming out has gotten easier.

This video proves me wrong.  It is still not an easy conversation to have with your parents.  Young people are still afraid of rejection, still afraid of losing his/her parents love and still worried that what they feel so deeply in their souls that something may not be right or normal about them.  This young man's mom was nearly perfect and he is indeed a very lucky guy.

If you know of any young people, or older people who are struggling with coming out to themselves and then their family and if they come to you just listen to them and if you are supportive show it, tell them you are their friend, let them know they can come to you at any time.  Offer them a safe place in case things do not go well.

And, if you can't be supportive, for whatever reason please reach down and find some humanity and cause them no harm or bring anymore grief or pain to them.

Below are three places where people can go for help and advice.

It gets better

The Trevor Project

United Church of Christ - LGBT


.

I have a lot to be Thankful for!

PA Marriage Equality Suit Proceeding

A federal district judge has issued a ruling that has cleared the way for a challenge to Pennsylvania's 17 year old law banning marriage equality.  The judge has set this Friday for a conference with all the interested parties to set the date and the ground rules for the actual case to be heard.

So, things are moving ahead - perhaps I won't be dead before I can get married in my home state.

And, next time you see Governor Tom Corbett thank him for spending hundreds of thousands of your tax dollars defending discrimination.  He's like a twenty first century George Wallace.

Marriage Equality Comes to Hawaii & Illinois - What's Up With Pennsylvania?

Hawaii becomes the 15th state to join the campaign for this country to become a more perfect union.  On Dec. 2nd of this year marriage equality will become the law of our fiftieth.  We've been to the Aloha State 3 times and quite frankly I'm surprised it has taken this long.  It was far and the away the most open, warm, inviting and affirming place I have ever been.

It is estimated that marriage equality will bring and estimated $217 million to the states economy over the next 3 years.

Did you read this legislators in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania?

Think of the boost to the Commonwealth's economy.  If you don't care about love, humanity, justice or decency I know that you do care about jobs and taxes collected.  If you can't pass marriage equality because you respect people at least do it for job creation in the Pocono's and other hot tourist areas.

So now the birth place of this great republic is being shown up by New Jersey which alone is horrendous, but now the youngest state and Illinois, really Philadelphia and Pittsburgh you are going to let Chicago make you look Birmingham.
.

Pumpkins Are Ruining Cuisine

Pumpkin here, pumpkin there, pumpkin pumpkin everywhere!  I am not a fan of pumpkin - I may have a piece of pumpkin pie or cheese cake over the holidays but that's about it.  It is the most over hyped and over rated flavor of all time.

Clearly I am in the minority (but then again I am used to that) Last year pumpkin flavored products were a $290 million business and by the looks of the things it is only going to be a bigger share of the food market place this year.

Michael Moss of The New York Times gets to the essence of this flavor explosion.

Meh!

A disgusting pumpkin recipe


The only good pumpkin





.

Controversy & Gore Vidal - Perfect Together

As was often the case during his life Gore Vidal  stirred the pot and enjoyed the resulting controversy.  Now about a year after his death Mr. Vidal's decision to give his entire estate to Harvard.


The great American author and cultural critic original will left everything to his partner of over 50 years Howard Austen.  After Mr. Austen's death Gore Vidal changed the will.  Now some distant and not so distant family members are challenging the will in court.

I started to read the comments but they got to be too much. Even the great New York Times attracts trolls.

I have always found Gore Vidal fascinating and I have tried to read every word he has written (I'm sure I missed a few).  Some of his writings pulled me through the coming out process and other writings entertained me and yet others provoked emotions and often caused me to rethink they way I looked at an issue.

Because it is Gore Vidal it is a story the fascinates the writers and editors of The New York Times and me.

I'll provide updates as they occur.

It's all About Heart!

Welp!

While at the doctor today the nurse took a mighty long time checking my blood pressure and pulse – I did not think much of it because @ 8:30 on a Monday – perhaps she was just groggy

Because this is a teaching practice I always have to be checked out by a student.  He does all the usual things, ask the usual questions and then spend a great deal of time listening as  I breath heavy in and out much longer than the usual chest listening.

Then the Doctor comes in, the usual small talk and catching up and he does his listening thing and it takes much longer than usual.

He gets done - looks at the student and then back at me.

"Well Donald your heart sounds unusual - not that I am really concerned but I want to do an EKG on you before your flu shot."

"OK!  Dr. L what is going on?"

"Well your heartbeat is inconsistent - as one pulse leave the third valve another one should be entering like boom---boom---boom---boom---boom "  

"Uh huh"

"Well your heart is more like one of the every now and then one of the pulses is faster than the previous ones more like boom---boom---boom---boomboom---boom---boom---boom---boomboom---boom---boom" 

My mouth falls open

"So I'm going to send the nurse in with the coldest hands and get you set up  for the EKG and then we'll discuss from there"

A few minutes I am getting hooked up and tested and yes her hands were corpse cold.  It goes quickly she rips off the stickers and leaves the room.  

Dr. L. comes back in  "Yep it's what I thought your heart beat has gotten a little irregular not sure why but it does not seem serious but I want you to keep an eye on it.  Have you noticed any chest pains or tightness lately?"

"I have noticed but it just seemed like the same symptoms of my anxiety attacks"

"OK if it happens again and you use your calming techniques and exercises and you still have some discomfort it is your heart"  "If it happens a lot you call me right away and we will go to the next step but right now is is so moderate and mild I am not concerned - it could just be a change "  "Get your blood work done so we can check that angle"

I don't smoke and never have, I eat right, I walk more than I drive, I have maintained a consistent weight but I need to cut the Red Bulls and if I want a little pick me up have a cup of coffee it is less concentrated - I don't drink a lot of coffee and my Red Bull intake goes in spurts I can go days, weeks without one.

So there you have it in Dr. L. words - "It just looks like your heart loves you more than it used to"  "I am going to find a rusty needle and come back in with your flu shot"  "See you in 6 months"

Gay Rights Should be Important to the GOP

In today's New York Times Frank Bruni speaks with  two titans of Wall Street about why they are spending millions of dollars in support of gay rights not only in the United States but around the world.


Both are loyal Republicans, both are conservative and both realize that issue is one that the Republicans are missing the boat on.  The country has decided the issue and Republicans are on the wrong side of history.

It's an interesting read and Frank Bruni is a great writer with a storied history as one of the New York Times Lavender Mafia. (Google it)

Computer Trouble Shooters!

My laptop is a little under the weather.

But, the amazing folks at Computer Trouble Shooters, Bethlehem PA were kind enough to give me a loner as they go about the business of removing the virus.

I have gotten to know owner Scott Gingold through various Chamber, networking and charity events and he is a great guy.  This is the first time I have had to use Scott's services and I am impressed.

He caught a tweet of mine that I was a little depressed not having my lap top and now my car had to get towed to the dealership - within 20 minutes he is dropping of this loner to get me through.

Now that is customer service!

So if you have tech problems big or small contact my friends at http://ctbethlehem.com/.

New Jersey A Step Closer to Marriage Equality

Is Pennsylvania going to be the last holdout in the Northeast?

Yesterday a New Jersey Superior Court judge ruled that marriage inequality was not legal in the state.  The judge used the recent Supreme Court  as the basis for her decision.  This is not the final word on this matter the case is likely to be appealed to the Court of Appeals and then to the New Jersey Supreme Court.  But, New Jersey is clearly on it's way to recognizing marriage equality.

Well Done You!  Superior Court Judge Mary Jacobson

 Many New Jersey court watchers believe that Superior Courts Judge's ruling overturning the states inadequate Civil Union law in favor of marriage equality will be upheld on appeal. The states obnoxious and popular Governor vetoed legislation earlier this year allowing same sex marriage and the legislature has until January to over ride it. So, it appears New Jersey will join the rest of the Northeastern states in supporting a more perfect union.


Which leaves my home state as the last hold out.

C'mon Pennsylvania you can do this.  Remember you are the state that claims to be the birth place of this great democracy and you are the home of the first and only (reportedly) gay President.

Please Pennsylvania don't let Alabama do this before you do!

A similar ruling was just issued  by a judge in Illinois.



.

The Sigal Museum in Easton

If you get a chance this week visit The Sigal Museum  in downtown Easton.  The 9-11 memorial flag is currently on display.  It will only be there through the September 20th.  I was invited to installation and have been trying to get back down to see it again.  It is breathtaking and heart breaking at the same time.


It is 22' by 32' and represents all of those who lives were lost on September 11, 2001 attacks.

In fact you should just visit the Sigal Museum.
 

The museum tells the history of Northampton County in a very clever and honest way.  It does not varnish over the fact that people who lived here before the Europeans were forcibly removed from their lands. It tells the story of the two cities, the small boroughs and the rural townships.  It showcases the industry and the agricultural, the arts and the leisure, the extraordinary and the ordinary of this historic county.  It celebrates the contributions the people of Northampton County have made to this country from it's founding right through to today.

I have had the opportunity (through my job) to support some of the programs and exhibits the museum has presented and I still find something new that I did not notice before as I walk through it's permanent collections.

Take a trip to lovely downtown Easton and spend some time at the Sigal it will be time well spent.  When done go across the street grab a cup of coffee from Terra Cafe stroll around downtown, visit the many shops and stop in for a cocktail or more at Mesa.

The Sigal is operated by Northampton County Historical and Genealogical Society.
.

A Tragic Opera Story

The City Opera of New York which has tried to bring opera to the people  for the past 70 years is in danger of cancelling the rest of this season and all of the next season. If they do not raise $20 Million by the end of the year it could very well be the end for this beloved New York Institution.

The City Opera is the smaller of the two opera companies that occupy space at Lincoln Center and it has always struggled in the shadow of the mighty Metropolitan Opera.  The theater is not as big, the stars are not as big and production values are not as big but they are in no way inferior.  The City Opera has been where the great stars of opera make their American debuts and has proven to be a great training ground for the likes of Beverly Sills and Renee Fleming just to name two.

I have seen Madame Butterfly performed by both companies and quite frankly I thought the woman cast as Butterfly was better at The City Opera. But, that really means nothing other than to try to make myself come off as an opera snob. I do love opera but I am hardly an expert.

The City Opera in many countries would be consider the premier opera and in fact it is world class.  It is astonishing to me that New York cannot sustain two brilliant opera companies.

If The City Opera of New York is forced to close it will be a very sad day for the arts & culture for not only New York but for all of us.  And, for those who could only enjoy opera at a fairly reasonable price tag. .
.

Allowed to get married in their mid 80's

This is the story of  Peter Cott and Kenneth Leedom and they have been together for 58 years .

But, it has only been two years since they were able to get married.  It is a good thing these men live in New York and not Pennsylvania.


I know the legislature will not act so here in the birthplace of this great republic I have to wait and hope the courts force justice and equality.

My Mayor wants to perform the marriage but he is only going to be Mayor for a few more months.


I thought this was pretty clever


I adore Ann Hathaway




.

Gov. Corbett's Pandering Cost Taxpayers....A Lot

Attention taxpayers of Pennsylvania the worst Governor in the long history of this Commonwealth Tom Corbett is spending $400 an hour for the lead attorney & $325 an hour for each of his many associates to defend discrimination.


Yes, the pandering to the extreme right that Corbett is so clumsy at is costing those of us fortunate to live in King Charles's gift to William Penn is going to cost us a lot of money.

I wonder how many teachers could have been re-hired?

Could a bridge have been fixed?

How many potholes on route 78 could have been filled?

Any of the Democrats are better than Tom Corbett.

We can do better Pennsylvania!

***** Note to WETM - Pennsylvania is not a Northwestern state.  #justsayin

.

I Reserve The Right...........

I reserve the right to humiliate any person who says "I have a dream" about anything other than what Dr. King meant when he spoke the words.

And, if he or she tries to use the black preacher voice I am not sure what I will do but it will not be pretty.

#justsayin  
.