I want to get married

OK - this is not a manifesto but a rant and a plea for justice that I fear may not come for at least another generation.

Last Saturday by brother's partner of many years died suddenly, my brother found him collapsed on the floor and called 911. My brother said everyone was very kind and polite but they treated it like a crime scene. He was not allowed to go to the hospital but instead was taken to the police station to wait things out. Once no foul play was discovered he was free to go. By this point Mike had died alone at the hospital.

Now, my brother because he was not a legal spouse had to wait 3 days to for some family member to come forward to claim the body. Mike was estranged from his family and really there was only an aunt and step father left, neither of which he had a real relationship with. We were Mike's family, my brother is the one who had claim to the body, but we had to wait.

Now, friends have tried to reassure me that this 3 day wait for next of kin would also happen to a straight unmarried couple. That may be true but for one difference. They would be unmarried and living together by choice my brother is not allowed to marry. We had to wait for some obscure relative to surface and then worry that she would claim the body and Mike would be lost to us forever. She did come forward at that last minute and gave us some grief but in the end my brother was allowed to follow Mike's wishes and we had a lovely memorial service.

I have been with Guy for over 25 years. We have been embraced by both our families (mine was easier than his but they came around). We have never strayed. I have joyfully put up with snoring, weight gain and the need to collect everything. Guy has put up with career highs and lows, horrible sleeping habits, bouts of depression, a mid life discovery that ADD is real and some odd OCD habits.

Yet, we are not in the eyes of the law a legal couple. Our relationship has no value under the laws of this state and this nation. Marriages, like all those family value types who cheat on their wives, have value. Their sham marriages count. Guy & I do not count. If I were to die tomorrow after more than 25 years Guy would not be able to claim custody of my still neurotic corpse. He would have to hope that my family would not come in and take me from him. He would have no say what so ever. A will would help but that could involve legal action.

At one point I thought marriage did not matter, but it clearly does. I thought OK call it civil unions, but that is not working out so well in NJ (UPS does not want to grant benefit rights). I want to get married! Not because I give a rat's ass if some church or state leader approves. I want to get married because I want the same rights as Elizabeth Taylor (8 times), Newt (3 times), junky radio host (4 times), the diaper wearing Senator Vitters, the soul mate searching Gov. Sanders, the staffing screwing Sen. Ensign and the cigar chomping Pres. Clinton.

I want Jefferson's words to be true, even if he really did not mean them. Oh please, you will never find a bigger fan of Jefferson than me, but the man owned and screwed slaves until the day he died.

I will hold all my elected officials accountable until I have full rights under the Constitution. This will be One America some day and I am now fully engaged in the fight. And, I am tired of this long engagement I want Guy to make a respectable man of me and finally marry me. The sin part of "living in sin" may be fun but I want full citizenship rights just like my sister has.